Carly Fiorina Will Not Be Swayed By Your Petty Facts About Generals Or Anything Else Really

truth is for the weak

Remember how Tuesday night during that rage-fueled blusterfest that was the one millionth GOP debate, Carly Fiorina tottered up to the microphone to list the names of some generals she'd had a minion look up on Wikipedia the night before? We can't recall the exact words, but it went something like "Barack Obama literally murdered every general who knew anything about makin' wars, like General Napoleon, General Patton, General Eisenhower, General Goebbels, and some others, and replaced them all with namby pamby baby men." And she kept calling them "the warrior class," which somehow squicked us out but we're not sure why. Anyway, one of the names she trotted out was General Jack Keane, who Fiorina said was "retired early because [he] told President Obama things that he didn't want to hear." Except that General Jack Keane had to go and ruin Carly's masturbatory warrior-class-humiliated-by-Obama fantasies by pointing out that he has never even actually met Obama, much less been fired by him.

The retired Keane now works as a military analyst for Fox News, said Wednesday morning on “Varney and Co.” that Fiorina’s claim was bogus and impossible.

“No, I have never spoken to the president,” Keane said. “That’s not accurate, and I never served this administration. I served the previous administration.”

Keane retired from the U.S. Army in 2003, and he co-authored a January 2007 paper that served as a blueprint for the Iraq troop surge later that year.

Whoops! That is quite the error! And sort of embarrassing to be called out not by the horrible liberal media but by the actual strapping warrior class general hisself! Surely Carly is now super-sheepish and walked this back a bit ruefully. What's that? She doubled down? Oh good christ of course she did. 

Talking with reporters Wednesday after a town hall here, Fiorina was asked if she misspoke about Keane given the timing of his retirement.

"No, I didn't misspeak," she said. "But he has been someone of great experience who has been highly critical of the way this administration has not taken threats seriously and unfortunately he hasn't been listened to. I would listen to him."

You know, she could have actually just admitted she misspoke and then still gone on to slam Bamz for not listening to Keane anyway, but you are forgetting that Carly doesn't just have a loose relationship with the truth. Carly's so far away from the truth that they aren't even in the same zip code.

Carly is also super sad that Big Mean Obummer forced out General Petraeus, conveniently forgetting that the whole reason Petraeus had to get gone was that he couldn't keep his mouth or his pants zipped.

Gen. David Petraeus resigned as director of the CIA in 2012 after admitting to an extramarital affair, and he pleaded guilty earlier this year to one misdemeanor charge of mishandling classified information he leaked to his mistress.

BitchObama set him up.

Just remember that we are still 11 months away from the general election, and there will be so many more opportunities for Carly to just stone cold make shit up, get called out on it, and then just blithely go along as if what she said were absolutely completely true. Stupid or mendacious? Why choose?

[ Raw Story / CNN ]