Ms. Chanandler Bong, Antifa Transponster. Tabs, Tues., Feb. 3, 2026

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Buenos días, aquí tienen las noticias de la mañana.

(That’s Spanish for SUP LOSERS.)

Tabs!

You guys, they found the president of Antifa, it was Chandler the whole time.

It’s a Megyn Kelly SANTA IS WHITE, DAMMIT! story, but this time it’s Elon Musk and Helen of Troy.

Bari Weiss is very upset that everybody thinks she should fire that Peter Attia guy who’s all over the Epstein Files. But we are guessing Bari has picked up some wisdom in her long tenure running newsrooms, and it is that if you fire one guy who was all over the Epstein Files, it’s a slippery slope to having to fire EVERY guy who was all over the Epstein Files, wait wasn’t Bari’s wife in the Epstein files? [The Wrap]

Bill and Hillary Clinton will testify for Piggyfuck James Comer’s fake probe into the Epstein Files after all, fuckin’ whatever. [NBC News]

Define “improper,” Pedo Protector:

Yeah, so that almost certainly means they have exactly what he said they don’t have, and that it’s horrific.

READ. And if you’re not following Snyder, you need to be.

And another from Snyder, re: the latest judge to tell the Trump administration to go step on a rake in traffic.

Trump saying it out loud, wants to nationalize voting so he can control it, like the two-bit fascist dictator he is. [JoeMyGod]

Hey, y’all hear about the TOP TOP TOP secret whistleblower report about Russia’s Girlfriend Tulsi Gabbard that’s for some reason being discussed in the press? Apparently it’s so classified they’re having to keep it locked in a safe! Let’s somebody get it out of there, and tell us what a traitor she really is! [Independent]

Also, is it weird that Russia’s Girlfriend Tulsi called Donald Trump so he could have phone sex with the FBI agents doing that Fulton County election-stealing raid the other day? [New York Times]

You guyyyyyyys apparently some of these ICE Gestapo losers are on Reddit whining that they’re not being paid or getting insurance and they can’t even afford medical care for their kids. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Maybe them bitches should pull themselves up by their bootstraps and get a real job. [International Business Times]

Brazilian right-wing influencer who loves Trump arrested by … Trump’s ICE Gestapo. Hate that. [New Republic]

Sounds like Pammy Jo Bondi feels less-than-confident in her ability to bring satanic Nazi retribution against her Daddy’s enemies, and Daddy is mad about it, so now the DOJ’s Weaponization Working Group is going to meet every day. We’re sure that’ll make all these judges stop laughing at them and calling their US attorneys fake. Anyway, we guess that’s probably why that mouthbreathing square-headed wet far Ed Martin has been embarrassingly demoted from running the Weaponization group. [CNN]

So long, blockheaded shart person!

‘Get A Clue, Young Man, And Learn Some Manners And Respect!’ Yes, The Moral High Ground is back this week, and I had to take a moment and lose my shit at one of the general white conservative male mentalities that’s driving the absolute destruction of this country. Come over and read, share and subscribe to fuel my rage! [The Moral High Ground]

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This week brought the dreadful, heartwrenching death of Catherine O’Hara, and we are still not over the loss of Diane Keaton. There are Schitt’s Creek clips all over the internet, but I watched a couple movies she had smaller parts in this weekend, just to start the project of watching/rewatching everything she ever did. (Still not done doing that with Keaton.) One with an all-star cast was called A.C.O.D., or “Adult Children Of Divorce.” O’Hara, Jane Lynch, Amy Poehler … great cast. Then I watched the 2019 animated Addams Family — can you tell I do this in alphabetical order when I do this? — and Catherine had the tiniest role in that, but it was sweet when you see what it was. Anyway.

Here’s the damn Schitt’s Creek wedding scene. Cry.

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