659 Comments

Notice how he sneaks out an exemption for Xians to Jewish dietary restrictions ("like eating shellfish which is just an abomination to t he Jews") like Uncle Al sneaking a fart out on the couch after Thanksgiving dinner.

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The Christians borrowed it all from the pagans, Charlie. Get real. Hallowe'en was originally a Celtic festival called Samhain, and Christmas used to be a pagan solstice feast which the early Christians took over and called Jesus's birthday, or at least decided to celebrate his birthday then. No-one really knows what time of year he was born. The Christians took over the Holy Family image from the much older Egyptian myths of Osiris, Isis and Horus in pretty much the same way. They also gave the role of the goddess who goes searching for the murdered god and brings him back to life (Isis, Ishtar, and the Canaanite goddess Anat who restores Ba'al (which is just the Canaanite word for "Lord") to Mary Magdalene. If Charlie knew jack about ancient myths he'd be aware of it - not that I suppose he'd be any less a poisonous dweeb for knowing.

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He's just mad he's aged out of trick or treating

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Man who perpetually looks like he’s dressed as a life size bobble head doll dislikes Halloween? I would think like the Coneheads it would be a chance to blend in with other “humans” and eat chicken embryos. Huh,

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Wow, as a practicing Kemetic pagan, pretty fucking sure the Egyptians of old didn't engage in child sacrifice. However, Nationalist Christians seems to be fine with the sacrifice of children to their almighty god of boom sticks.

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My half-Jewish and half-Presbyterian granddaughters dressed as the clearly Satanic [checks notes] Thomas the Tank Engine and a pumpkin last night. They were cute as two little buttons (just four and almost six months, respectively) and happy as could be.

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Oh, fuck off CK. You know less than nothing about being Jewish.

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Quote/

CHARLIE KIRK: Halloween is coming up, which is All Saints Day[.]

/Quote

No, Chuck, All Saints' Day is the day *after* Halloween. Halloween is "All Hallows Eve" you putz. Although I might have given you a point or two if you'd've mentioned it originated as a *gasp* Druidic festival and thus the early church really, really needed to either stamp it out or co-opt it, like they did all the other pagan celebrations.

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Let's get this "co-opted pagan traditions" talk out of our system before Easter, ok? I don't think poor, misshapen Charlie could handle it if we told him eggs and bunnies have nothing to do with Jesus walking out of a cave. (Also, I'm pretty sure fundies are terrified of the word "fertility" unless we're talking about making more little Christian soldiers.)

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Charlie knows that only the old gods have any power, and he will not have anyone get between him and Cthulhu.

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Imagine being so desperate to feel any emotion at all that you have to make up nonsense just to scare yourself. In a time of frequent mass murder in your own country, ugly, ugly genocidal wars in Ukraine, Congo, Gaza etc.etc. A climate emergency that demands swift and radical global cooperation, but no, he's going on about demons.

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Heh. I hovered over the "who is" link that documents Charlie's junior college history, and I thought it read "datereview[.]com".

I was so hoping for more gossip ...

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can you say 'never got a lot of candy as a kid' when he went trick of treating?

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But he has a built-in Quasimodo mask, he should have been super popular.

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He's hated the occult ever since that witch doctor shrunk his face.

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Or enlarged his face and shrunk his features. It’s really hard to define what is going on there.

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October 31 is All Hallows Eve. November 1 is All Saints Day.

Didn't Charlie have a sympathetic nun in his childhood who could beat this crap into his head?

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maybe that's why it's shaped the way it is

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If so, clearly it didn't take.

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There is not enough talk about how opposing Hallowe'en is anti-Irish racism

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