Charlie Kirk Something Something NO GAY POEMS ON BATTLESHIPS!

But what if one battleship loves another battleship very much and wants to tell it how it feels?

The great thing about white weirdos like Charlie Kirk is that it is technically not ever necessary to try to find out the context of what they are talking about, because none of their words or opinions have value. So we can just hop in, make fun of them for screaming about NO GAY POEMS ON BATTLESHIPS, and then hop back out.

That's right, NO GAY POEMS ON BATTLESHIPS.

“Charlie Kirk: "Battleships are not for gay poems"”

— Jason Campbell (@Jason Campbell) 1681318522 

In that clip, Charlie Kirk asks if our military, "with all the LGBT stuff, with all the trans stuff, with that gay poem reading on battleships, do you think we are ready to go win a war against China or Russia?" This is a big thing with rightwing fascists right now, saying that our military is weak and we have recruitment problems because LGBT+ stuff and "woke." It is not true, of course. America still has by far the strongest military in the world. And if you think Russia's military really has its shit together after watching the last year in Ukraine, you're a fucking idiot.

But Charlie is upset about some gay poems on battleships, so we guess we should at least acknowledge that he is upset and thank him for his service, haha just kidding, Charlie Kirk has never served our country in any capacity. He's just a junior community college dropout. 

Charlie makes clear that he's "not doubting the courage of the rank-and-file." Except that yes he is, because he's mad about some trans servicemember who, we guess, read a poem on a military ship or something. (Don't know, don't care, not searching the internet to find out. If somebody wants to look it up, it's apparently about a TikTok he saw.)

CHARLIE: I am doubting the ability of that trans person, who should not be in the military. Go find something else to do, you shouldn't be in the military, I'm sorry, if you're non-binary making TikTok videos about reading poems on a battleship, you should not be in the military. It's not a social experiment, it's not a college campus. Go join the Chicago teacher unions [sic ]. OK? They have plenty of job openings now that they have a Marxist running the city. Go ... there's a plethora of jobs open in Portland or Seattle, you can go do gay poem readings at any sort of dwindling coffee shop in Portland. [...]

Battleships are not for gay poems! OK? Battleships are there to defeat our enemies! And anything that distracts you from the mission, of which LGBT appreciation hour largely does, it's a waste of time, it's not necessary!

There are two punchlines here.

The first is that every member of the US military — straight, gay, trans, cis, non-binary, EVERY MEMBER — could beat the living shit out of Charlie Kirk without any preparation, just for fun. Every member. Would be over before it started. So it's just kind of funny watching his deformed Caucasian angry mouth trying to tell people who belongs in the US military and who doesn't.

The second is that we don't have any battleships in service, and haven't for a very long time, so.

So.

Fuckin' dumbass.

"Battleships are not for gay poems!"

Stay in school, kids. Don't want your face or your brain to look like Charlie's.

OPEN THREAD.

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