Charlie Kirk Pretty Sure Impeachment Inquiry Just A Trick To Distract Morons Like Charlie Kirk
Cool theory, maybe true.
Did you hear? Speaker Kevin McCarthy is caving to the nutters who control him again and authorizing an impeachment inquiry into Joe Biden based on exactly zero evidence of anything, just vibes. They’re just doing it, because Donald Trump is stomping his feet and shitting his bed for it. Republicans learned this kind of politics from their Russian benefactor.
Oh yeah, and the nutters are threatening McCarthy’s power. He could have put this to a vote, but it’s pretty clear he didn’t have the votes. You know, because of how he has zero control over his caucus and nobody really respects him. Remember what Eric Swalwell said about him? He might say it again today if they run into each other.
However! Listen up!
Brain genius Charlie Kirk, whose formal education consists of the hard knock life of having to wear that smooshed up crooked face in public, is pretty sure FOOLERY is afoot. He’s pretty sure McCarthy is just trying to shine a laser pointer for lunatics like him, to distract them by letting them do an impeachment inquiry, so the so-called grownups can do woke mind virus stuff like passing aid for Ukraine and also funding the American government.
CHARLIE KIRK: So, we're not going to knock Joe Biden out of office by doing these impeachment proceedings. Democrats hold the Senate and they have to do a trial. The only reason to impeach Biden is just for the symbolism of it and of course, there is an argument to be made to force the press to cover the evidence and the allegations against the Biden crime family, that's fine, but the only victory if it happens to produce to a political advantage. That's it.
There is no evidence of “Biden crime family,” and it won’t make a political advantage. The Senate trial would be absolutely hilarious, just a 24/7 campaign commercial for Joe Biden. But sure, impeach Biden in the House for vibes and “symbolism.”
Here’s where he starts working through some realizations:
KIRK: Now, it might not happen. It might not happen for a long time. The 2024 election is looming over us right now and the big news is that we are now going to move forward with impeachment, but if I'm looking at this without any emotionalism, it feels like, in some ways, it's too little, too late. This fight should have started around February or March. Why is all of a sudden is it bubbling up now when we have the most consequential funding fight of a generation? Do not keep your eyes off that — do not take your eyes off that, everybody. It's that old Latin phrase cui bono, who benefits from the impeachment inquiry, which itself is not even impeachment.
Why the sudden urgency? The answer is obvious. Moderate Republicans don't want to cut Jack Smith's funding. Moderate Republicans don't want to limit Zelenskyy's funding. Moderate Republicans don't want to close the border. So a concession they're making is oh, just throw the right-wingers on The Charlie Kirk Show, on Steve Bannon, on Jack Posobiec, throw them a little bit of a bone where they have an impeachment inquiry. They're trying to make you care about 9/30 less. That's what this is all about. They're trying to get a clean resolution as a deal for an impeachment inquiry. I don't think that's a good deal at all.
In other words, give House Oversight Chair James Comer a safe enclosure to play with his poop without getting it all over America, and the rest of Congress will just continue doing stuff?
Cool theory if so, brother!
We are not even going to opine on whether or not Charlie is correct here, that the so-called “moderates” are just trying to give their pigfucking MAGA colleagues a chew toy to play with so they will otherwise shut up.
Because it is absolutely possible. And there’s scant little limp dicks like Charlie Kirk can do about it.
What’s important here is that Charlie Kirk is feeling insecure and deceived and unloved by the whole process.
Thoughts and prayers, Icky McGrossFace!
OPEN THREAD.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
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Charlie Kirk's microscopic face on the OT? Why does Evan hate us so?
Did I mention that last stroke borked my dad’s brain? He’s telling people today that the hospital chained him to his bed when he was there. He also told me over the phone in a whisper when he was still there that the hospital staff was “subversive” and trying to get everyone to vote for Trump. He’s become obsessed with attending church and doing rosaries and getting his burial plans in order. He’s decided he wants to be buried in Fort Snelling, even though the immediate family all live In Massachusetts. The whole thing is surreal.