Chelsea Clinton Groped By Lesbians

Chelsea was doing a gay bar crawl in Philadelphia on Friday night and while she was walking around some lady said "I grabbed her ass," and David Shuster wept because this was proof positive that the Clintons were pimping their daughter out.

Clinton was mobbed by admirers, including some dumb broads who could not figure out how to save pictures on their camera phones. Ed Rendell came along and yapped on a man's phone trying to get the man's mom to vote for Hillary before the guy finally interceded and was like,Dude my cell phone minutes, I do not have so many of them.

All in all, the Clinton campaign won big on this fabulous night. People talked about how nice Chelsea's hair was, and for a moment everyone could forget about this whole miserable Primary Death March and just admire the smart young lady with the ass.

 Chelsea stops traffic on gay bar crawl [First Read]