448 Comments

A balloon race is better than an arms race.

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" And the chanting! Good Lord, you’d think there’s no Tibetic word for “lyrics.”". That's one of the best lines from Wonkette!

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Yes, yes, yes.

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I caught the Captain Kirk reference.

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What sort of sycophantic masochist do you have to be to play golf with Donald Trump?

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A woman in my office wore an obvious wig. She had more than one, and there was a shop within walking distance that cleaned them. She was coming back from picking up a wig at the shop, and it fell out of her bag going across the lobby, unnoticed by her. Security thought it was an animal that somehow got in and died and carefully approached to check it with a borrowed broom from a member of the janitorial staff.

It was eventually reunited with its distraught owner.

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Weren't those the marionettes?

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Raccoons.

"I'm tired of these motherfuckin' raccoons in this motherfuckin' balloon!"

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One thing we know for sure, Jared didn't get 2 billion from the Chinese.

Edit: Fuck! I forgot about Ivanka. {Hangs head. In shame.}

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Very slow, meandering chemtrails.

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All those deaf sheep!

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Tony just had to remember how he did the straitjacket stunt from when he did the Houdini biopic.

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The one who's speaking at this exact moment?

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That, and sheep.

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While we sit out here with our knickers in a twist worrying about how the right is going to use this to attack us, I imagine Joe is listening to his generals and determining what threat level the thing presents with the information they currently have available.

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at first glance i read 'listening to his genitals'

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