Chris Christie Promises He Will Never Stop Being A Dick
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Chris Christie Promises He Will Never Stop Being A Dick
Lovable cuddly soft-spoken goofball Gov. Chris Christie (R-Joisey) appeared on the "Today Show" to vow that he will never give up, never surrender, when it comes to being a raging screamaholic jerk-faced jerk.
Matt Lauer reminded Christie of that little incident a couple weeks ago -- no, not that one where he wanted to yell at the nursejust because she thinks she's some kind of Centers for Disease Control expert on Ebola; the other one, at an event marking the second anniversary of Hurricane Sandy, when Christie, in his usual calm and composed manner, politely yelled at a "heckler" to "sit down and shut up." While the casual observer might conclude that Christie has some anger management issues, Christie wants you to know it's not a bug, it's a feature.
LAUER: That kind of response is something your staunch supporters love. It makes other people queasy. Are you going to have to control that side of your personality to be seen as presidential outside the rough-and-tumble world of New Jersey politics?
CHRISTIE: First of all, you’re assuming I wasn’t controlled. And you know, I sat and took it for a while. And then other people, the hundreds of people that were there, deserved to hear what we had to say that day. That person had their say. I’d sat and listened to it. It was time for them to sit down. And I’m not going to change, Matt. This is who I am.
LAUER: Maybe I should say instead of controlling that side, do you have to hide that side of your personality outside of New Jersey?
CHRISTIE: There’s no hope of that.
Do you promise, governor? We sure hope so. We aresolooking forward to seeing you on stage with your fellow Republican presidential hopefuls, screaming "Sit down and shut up!" at them. And the moderators. And the audience. And all those people you think will vote for you and your "it's time to start offending people" platform. Best of luck with that.
[ Crooks and Liars ]
Chris Christie Promises He Will Never Stop Being A Dick
I know a lot of people, especially the rightwingers whose only joy in life is trollin' the damn hippies, love the "FUCK YOU!" stuff from him, but I just can't imagine him going through all the months and months of campaigning without blowing up at some Iowa grandmother at the corndog stand or something and sinking faster than the Titianic. Also, remember Giuliani? Obnoxious NE Republicans don't do well in the primaries.
Chris Christie is real. He's genuine. He's not about to hide what he is really about, just for the sake of politeness or actual human interaction. You see that is what being real is all about - being a dick. You have to take him warts, boils, gaping oozing sores and all. He had to shut that guy down. After all, there were people there that deserved to hear what Christie had to say. God knows what those people did to deserve such a thing, but at least Chris was there to speak for them.
That is what Christie supporters love about him, he's a rude, harsh, unapologetic bastard. Everyone knows that a man who is that big a dick must be honest, otherwise he'd have no redeeming qualities at all. He is an American original, so much so, that when God made Chris Christie he broke the mold. Then God pissed on that mold, set it aflame and then buried that mold so deep it could never be recovered. There will never be another Chris Christie.