Chris Cillizza Farts Out Millionth Inane Column About Hillary Clinton Maybe Running For President

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 Did you read our article about Hillary Clinton's interview with Gayle King where she talked all the shit about Clarence Thomas, her Yale Law classmate, who is a certified Angus piece of dogshit?

Great.

In news related to that, Chris Cillizza has an article at CNN today about whether Hillary Clinton is running for president in 2024. No, we are not fucking kidding.

Because Wonkette is a Look For The Helpers, we have turned it into an obnoxious run-on sentence, so you don't have to read the real thing.

Ready?

Hillary Clinton isn't running for president in 2024 but maybe she is just kidding no she's not but some conservative writer wrote something that said she should run in 2024 but that doesn't mean she is unless it does but it probably doesn't but Juan Williams wrote a thing that said Hillary should campaign for Democrats this year but that doesn't mean she's running in 2024 but it could mean that but it doesn't but it could but it doesn't but "just how far-fetched is a Clinton candidacy?" well let's talk about it for 900 more words because Joe Biden is old but Hillary Clinton says she's not running but how strongly is she saying she's not running oh wait she literally said "no" to Gayle King this morning but that doesn't mean she's not running unless it does unless it doesn't unless it does "so, if you are a betting person [...] the smart gamble is that Clinton doesn't run again" but that doesn't mean that circumstances couldn't change because "we know that circumstances change. And that changed circumstances can lead to changed minds," but with all that being said Chris Cillizza finds it "utterly implausible" Clinton would primary Biden but what if Biden didn't run again what if Biden rode away on a giant dragon what if Biden stepped on a crack what if Biden broke his mother's back well in that case Hillary Clinton would have to think about running for president again but "that's not to say she would run" but that's not to say that she wouldn't but people would definitely talk about it and one of those people who would talk about it, because he literally cannot stop himself from talking about it, is named Christopher Michael Cillizza, Esquire, except Christopher Michael Cillizza is not an Esquire, he has a bachelors in English, but anyway hey maybe now that Roe is overturned Hillary is running again but maybe she isn't but maybe she is but maybe but maybe she isn't but "the chances are very slim" but "they aren't zero," and Chris Cillizza got paid more money than you to poop out this analysis, the end.

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