Chris Cuomo Mad That 'Aggressive' Me Too Movement Won't Let Him Like Boobs

Why are we so mean to him????

Photo by Nicole Arango Lang on Unsplash

Hey ladies! Have you been wondering what it is that you can do to save democracy lately? Or have you perhaps wondered how you might keep people from going on shooting sprees? Well! Chris Cuomo has an idea, and that idea is tha, unless you hate America, you should let him stare at your tits.

I don’t know what we’ve done to deserve the worst week of breast-related discourse since that one lady burned a bra one time at a protest of the Miss America pageant and a significant portion of the American people decided that this must be a top priority of the feminist movement, but it’s happening. First, there was the “Sydney Sweeney’s boobs are proof that woke is over! Because we’ve decided randomly that leftists hate boobs!” and now we have motherfucking Chris Cuomo somehow going from the mass shooting in New York City this week to “And no one will even let me like tits!” on his NewsNation show this week.

What even?

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Anyway, here he is, in his video titled “The REAL Reason for the Manhattan Shooting.”

To be fair, he doesn’t explicitly say that the reason for the mass shooting is that “the Left” won’t let him like boobs — but he does come pretty close. He explained that he sees social media as part of the problem, because the algorithms prioritize “provocative things, aggressive things, violent things.” The other part of the problem, he says, is that “violence comes easy to us in America. We are a culture that is consumed with aggression.”

Sure, fine. Nothing especially new tread here. But his example of “aggression” is, well, a little different.

“Now, sometimes there’s reaction formation to it, right? Like, look, I see Me Too as a form of aggression. I see cancel culture as a form of aggression. Yeah, sure you’re targeting alpha males,” he said.

Hey! You know who we see complaining a whole lot about men being “targeted” by women in some capacity? Men who go on shooting sprees. You know who we don’t see going on a whole lot of shooting sprees? Feminists. I mean, you’ve got Valerie Solanas and could maybe make a case for Aileen Wuornos, but that’s really about it — and I don’t think either of them were inspired by the Me Too movement or internet algorithms.

Cuomo then started going on about how he saw a meme in which some guy was talking about how he “got to third base” with a girl and some other guy was like “Oh, where she tells you about her hopes and dreams?” and how he was very upset by it because this means that the Left hates sex. You know, unlike the Right, where they put programs on their computer to let their family members know when they’re looking at porn so they can be appropriately chastised, were absolutely scandalized by W.A.P., and are weirdly obsessed with virgins and endlessly mad about the sexual revolution.

He continued:

And I was like, ‘So, it’s wrong to find the opposite sex sexually attractive, that you have to find them attractive on the basis of what their deepest thoughts and philosophies are?’ That there’s no more physical attraction, there’s no more animal attraction, there’s no more sexual attraction, it’s got to be all intellectual?

What the fuck are we doing? And you wonder why the Left loses and that’s the kind of shit that you want to put out? ‘Oh, well, the opposite is misogyny.’ No, it isn’t. No, it isn’t.”

Ah, yes. Who among us can forget the glorious day we declared war on boners and made it illegal for men to be physically attracted to anyone?

You can find a female physically attractive and intelligent and attractive on the basis of what’s in their head and their heart. Someone can have a nice body and a nice brain. You just want both. You don’t have to make one the commodity over the other. But that’s what we keep doing. Oppositional, conflictual, hostile. That’s what we do.

“You are wrong to like tits. You are bad. Bad man liking tits, looking at an ass. You are bad and objectifying. You must look at her sense of math. You must look at her choices of what types of vegetables she prefers and her ambitions and what she wants.”

Chris Cuomo, it bears mentioning, was accused of sexual harassment by multiple women, after he was fired from CNN for having helped his brother, former New York governor Andrew Cuomo, with the many accusations against him for sexual harassment.

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If Chris Cuomo cannot tell the difference between “Don’t grab your boss’s ass at her going away party, without her consent” (also, “don’t grab anyone’s ass without their consent”) and “liking tits” or even “looking at an ass,” then I guess he will just have to suffer. That is his problem, not ours.

Oh, because that’s what you motherfuckers do when you’re analyzing men, right? It’s not like there’s a sole criterion for men, right? “What does he do? What does he do?” That’s what you ask most often about men. “Oh, I met this great guy.” “Really? What does he do?” Right. “What does he do? Oh, what are his dreams?” That’s not what you say. “Oh, what makes him most comfortable?” No, that’s not what you say. You say, “what does he do?” Why? ‘Cause Chris Rock is right. Because only women and dogs and kids are loved unconditionally. Men are only loved when they provide something. It's true. And it's extreme. And we've made it extreme like everything else. And that's why our politics has become reduced to who you can destroy and how.

Imagine thinking that the world is set up against men when a man who draws brilliant conclusions like “Women don’t like being sexually harassed and therefore must believe I shouldn’t be allowed to like tits” and “Women ask what men do for a living, and that’s why politics is about destroying people,” and who manages to somehow draw a line from a man shooting up the NFL offices because he believed he had CTE to any of this … had his own show on CNN for eight years and continues to work in media to this very day.