190 Comments

You roll coal with the McLaren you have, not the truck you wish you had.

Expand full comment

Give him time, it's only Thursday.

Expand full comment

Did you actually mean to type 'paid'? It's just that 'P' is above and to the right of 'L' on the keyboard,. It's a common typo.

Expand full comment

Only if he was doing thoroughbreds.

Expand full comment

Dangerous tactic. We all know that the Devil has the best lawyers.

Expand full comment

Here you go!

Spam Attack!! Open Invite Folks!

The First Annual Maui Wonkette Commenteriat Meet and Greet!

When: 2 pm Friday May 20thWhere: Maui Brewing Company, Kahana Gateway Shopping Center, 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy #217, Lahaina, HI 96761What you’ll need: Thirst, hunger, a high tolerance for abuse and a love of good times and people.

See you there!

Expand full comment

But, Your Honour. It was a non-profit organization. If I hadn't embezzled that money it might have shown a profit.

Expand full comment

Pay to lay? That money went somewhere.

Expand full comment

Half a mil? Who's he paying for, E$$$corts? Sigourney Weaver in the role she played in Half Moon Street?

<shakes head="">

He's probably Too Christian (tm) to look at pr0n.... I know, he was trying to Save Their Souls!

Expand full comment

Will be there, maybe not precisely at 2.

Expand full comment

Wonkette, I just realized where he spent all that money. I'll bet he took all those offers for Latina ladies, er, exotic Arabian ladies, um, Russian ladies, that keep hitting my inbox....

And was there a Nigerian Princess involved?

Expand full comment

I know of a mentally ill woman who has been plundered of a substantial fortune left to her by her parents by Pat Robertson. Her brothers and sisters tried to stop it. It not only left her close to destitute but tore up the family.

There is no level of hell deep enough for these criminals

Expand full comment

You're right, Jesus comes first. He doesn't care much about his chattel save for PR purposes.

Expand full comment

*cough*Hillel House*cough*

Expand full comment

Was he buying gold-plated dildos? If he was shopping through Gweneth Paltrow's GOOP

http://www.usmagazine.com/c...

Expand full comment

$475,000. How many Mars Bars is that. How many bags of Skittles?

Expand full comment