128 Comments
User's avatar
addison_da_wit's avatar

They'll take their kumquats from them when they pry them from their cold, dead hands.

Silverbullet Live's avatar

With help from Brian Williams, no doubt. Later, you had Al Sharpton bless the script.

ahughes798's avatar

Lots and lots of college girls, and well tended and preserved CEO wives. My male friends said the same as you when they'd travel "all the way out from Chicago" to visit me. Do you still live around there?

Rotisserie Teal's avatar

What about pointed sticks?

mailman27's avatar

Your ballroom days are over?

House0fTheBlueLights's avatar

Isn't apple-tossing how someone started the Trojan War? So this guy is some sort of pagan?

Amy!'s avatar

Nah. Live show at the Fillmore East.

deanbooth's avatar

Apple core!Cathedral door!Who's your invisible friend?Jesus!

willi0000000's avatar

what about Christine Todd Whitman?

[what could be a bigger accomplishment than having chris christie's job before he had it?]

squabmeat's avatar

Two quick things: this person is only a few steps away from killing someone for Yahweh (not Jesus), and the school is backing him up in its refusal to "out" him and expel him. Two. I know writes love hyperbole, rambling, and other reflective techniques, but flarg! EDIT. Opinion is one thing - a name-calling slambook in article form is just masturbatory. Facts first, then the rhetoric, OK?

ViveLaProtestPayments's avatar

The headmaster is having the handwriting analyzed as we speak so the infidels can be expelled.

Mavenmaven's avatar

Apple throwing? Funny, he doesn't look blue-ish.

Parakeetist's avatar

Also, too, in addition. :(