'Christianity Today' Still Won't Accept Trump As Personal Lord And Savior, How Is That Even Christ-Like?

This is how you say 'SUCK IT' in the evangelical language.

Can we just take a moment to notice that, aside from whatever else they're saying right now, Christianity Today has super-talented writers? 

Jesus said we should give to Caesar what is Caesar's and to God what is God's. With profound love and respect, we ask our brothers and sisters in Christ to consider whether they have given to Caesar what belongs only to God: their unconditional loyalty.

Good question, and well-asked!

That's from the response from CT president Timothy Dalrymple to the backlash that started when outgoing CT editor-in-chief Mark Galli published a stirring editorial last week calling for the removal of Donald Trump from the presidency, whether by the Senate or by voters in November.

Looking at this response from an outraged reader tweeted out by CT editorial director Ted Olsen, we can see where that Caesar question came from:

You, as a believer in God, will crucify his messenger, and our modern day savior, President Trump?

Who then will save us from the tyranny that will befall us? Jesus? Where is he now, when freedom depends on him?

 Christianity Today is too polite to say this, but PUT DOWN THE FUCKING PIPE, CRAZY PERSON. That an American evangelical is literally asking "WHAR'S YOUR GOD NOW," because of how Donald Trump is doing the savior-ing, now that Jesus has apparently decided to sleep on the job ... something fucked is happening in Christendom, you guys.

Olsen tweeted in a followup that that letter was "extreme but not much of an outlier."

As we said, there's been a backlash. A bunch of the usual suspects -- AKA every extremist evangelical leader whose name you hear and immediately think "asshole" -- signed a BIG MAD GRRR ARGH letter, whining about being called "far-right" and so forth. Michele Bachmann signed it, because she's who people think of first when they try to imagine "normal well-adjusted Christian person." So did James Dobson, Mike Huckabee, and real-life prophet Cindy Jacobs, who believes she personally saved Ronald Reagan's life with her prayers, who once personally repented to God for all the lesbians, and who sincerely believes she can pray thunderstorms away. Tony Perkins, head of the anti-gay Family Research Council hate group, signed it, as did Mat Staver of the anti-gay Liberty Counsel, who was batshit county clerk Kim Davis's lawyer. And of course Paula White, Donald Trump's personal televangelist grifter. And Jerry Falwell Jr., too, but not, as far as we can tell, his poolboy or his personal trainer. 

In other words, it is a who's who of people you shouldn't leave your children alone with, lest they come back with a "God Hates Fags" tattoo and a mysteriously empty bank account.

There's also been a GOOD-LASH, because of how GOOD-LASH is definitely the grammatical opposite of BACKLASH. Galli told MSNBC this weekend that CT 's new subscriptions in response to the editorial are about three times as many as the cancellations from pissed off whinyass far-right evangelicals. And they've been hearing from those new people:

"A stereotypical response is 'thank you, thank you, thank you' with a string of a hundred exclamation points — 'you've said what I've been thinking but haven't been able to articulate, I'm not crazy,'" Galli said of the response from supporters.

That's nice. Also, we guess even for evangelical magazines, it turns out to be better business to tell far-right evangelical idiots to fuck off than it is to try to cater to them. (See: The Hallmark Channel's recent holiday movie   Christmas Of Lesbian , or whatever that was about, we don't watch the Hallmark Channel.)

But of course, we are kidding, because CT is actually not telling these people to fuck off. We probably disagree with CT on a hundred things -- they're extremely wrong about abortion, for instance -- but this conversation they're having, we're not really a part of it. We just get to watch it unfold, and it's fascinating.

We started this piece with CT President Tim Dalrymple's response, and it, written in fluent evangelical-ese, doubles down on the editorial that started the whole controversy, explains where the magazine is planting its flag, and invites all evangelicals to the table to take part in the discussion:

Of course, we appreciate the support and listen humbly to the criticisms. But at the end of the day, we write for a readership of One. God is our Tower. Let the whirlwind come. [...]

Out of love for Jesus and his church, not for political partisanship or intellectual elitism, this is why we feel compelled to say that the alliance of American evangelicalism with this presidency has wrought enormous damage to Christian witness. It has alienated many of our children and grandchildren. It has harmed African American, Hispanic American, and Asian American brothers and sisters. And it has undercut the efforts of countless missionaries who labor in the far fields of the Lord. While the Trump administration may be well regarded in some countries, in many more the perception of wholesale evangelical support for the administration has made toxic the reputation of the Bride of Christ. [...]

We [...] believe the evangelical alliance with this presidency has done damage to our witness here and abroad. The cost has been too high. American evangelicalism is not a Republican PAC. We are a diverse movement that should collaborate with political parties when prudent but always standing apart, at a prophetic distance, to be what Martin Luther King, Jr. called "the conscience of the state." That is what we believe. This is where we plant our flag. We know we are not alone. [...]

The flag is planted. The table is set. We invite you to join us at either one.

Like we said, DAMN, these fuckers can write. (Evangelicals love it when you refer to them as "these fuckers" while complimenting them.)

Stay strong, Christianity Today , from your very favorite internet friends The Wonkette! You're still totally wrong about abortion! But anyway, whatever! The end!

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