Good morning, no YOU shut up.
Get ready for boots on the ground. (CNN)
Good lord, this flight attendant got ejected 320 feet from the Secretary Real World Air Canada plane crash and survived. (People)
President Fuck Em might have changed his mind about shitting on his own Republican senators’ plan to make a deal with Democrats to end the Department of Homeland Security shutdown and then give ICE even more money on a party line reconciliation vote. Who knows, that guy’s demented. (Politico)
Democrats should absolutely not make that deal, just FYI and BTdubs. (TFN)
Fly Delta, sounds like! They’re telling Congresspeople they can get their special super VIP service desk back when they fund the TSA. (But Democrats still shouldn’t.) (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)
Here’s your new ICE-tracking app! (Daily Kos)
We are starving Cuba. (BBC)
FEMA is (semi-) starving blue states, approving less than a quarter of disaster requests, but almost 90 percent of requests from Republican states. How about that. (Politico)
Virginia passed a bunch of cool shit this session on stopping gun violence! Scroll down past all the “here are how many people die of guns” to get to the cool shit. (Johns Hopkins Center For Stop Killing People)
Of course Garrett Bucks has the perfect loving, compassionate, sweetheart take on the disparate hot takes — people are so mad! — on Jezebel feminist (I just coined that term probably maybe not) Lindy West’s new memoir. Of course he does. (The White Pages) But er uh this linked Slate story, which I hadn’t even seen, I’d only seen some thing in the Atlantic that managed to be fatphobic, transphobic, and blame Lindy West for the fall of Roe?, seems perfectly fine and West and her partners are … not responding to it with the graciousness I would hope to exhibit, because of how I am perfect in all things. (Slate) Also of course, I was a Lindy fan all the way back when she went to see a Gallagher show for The Stranger. Do treat yourself! (The Stranger)
More of these lawsuits against Meta (Facebook/Instagram) for letting grownups perv all over your kids please! Jury says only $375 million in damages in New Mexico suit, I think we can do better. (The Verge)
Meanwhile, some bitch AI video thingie (Sora?) for making Disney porns (?) I never heard of is shutting down, I guess for wasting everyone’s money and sucking too hard. So that’s whatever the opposite of sad is! (Hollywood Reporter)
Nobody likes Donald Trump :) (Reuters)
Including Palm Beach! (CNN)
Your friend Callyson hipped us to Bookshop.org: the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here’s our Bookshop affiliate link, when you buy books, we get a taste!
Yes I’m going to be shilling this fundraiser all month. Support the girls’ Detroit public elementary school and buy some pizza (pizza). Little Caesar’s will ship the incredibly convenient pizza kits right to your home! Swear to god it is worth having these in your freezer, I was sad when we finally ate all ours last year. (Pizza Pizza)
All Wonkette posts are free, always. Feel free to
Wonkette has NO PAYWALL, EVER, because how the hell are we supposed to fight disinformation when we won’t let people read us? If you are holding, and you are able, here is where you may make a one-time or recurring donation in any amount your heart desires. We love you!
This is the button for giving us all your extra money (ONLY IF IT IS EXTRA) but with Venmo.




Kimi, a spunky little donkey in your hed gif: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/kimi-the-baby-donkey
And today’s meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/01c7d880-2139-4e9b-86df-f39434c4ec4c?utm_source=share
I managed to fall down the stairs this morning. No serious injuries, but I've managed to break my ankle and will be off my feet for a little while. This may delay April's cakes post, unless I can persuade Cakes Jr to do all the hard work.