Nutter Congressman Clay Higgins Calls For Armed Revolution, Shrimp Po' Boy, Tums

Well ain't that just the alligator bitin' you in the butt.

Here is a riddle for you: What do you call a meathead who has been married four times, fired from a succession of jobs in various police departments for such infractions as using unnecessary force and refusing to tone down the racist and demeaning comments about suspects on publicity videos but nonetheless still brags about his career in law enforcement, believes in lunatic conspiracy theories, publicly shouts out militias, and recently manhandled a protestor and labeled him a mental case because the guy dared to keep asking him questions?

Give up? The answer is “Congressman.”

Congressman Clay Higgins, to be more precise, a lumbering hunk of bayou cypress wood infested with spider mites currently representing Louisiana’s Third District in the House. Higgins on Thursday night reacted to the news of Donald Trump’s indictment on federal charges with this … this … whatever the Cajun swamp fuck this is :

“President Trump said he has "been summoned to appear at the Federal Courthouse in Miami on Tuesday, at 3 PM." This is a perimeter probe from the oppressors. Hold. rPOTUS has this. Buckle up. 1/50K know your bridges. Rock steady calm. That is all.”

— Rep. Clay Higgins (@Rep. Clay Higgins) 1686273595 

We consider ourselves fairly fluent in Wingnut, and all we got from this was a twitching eyeball and a raging headache. Luckily journalist Jeff Sharlet has an explanation :

“Take this seriously. “Perimeter probe”: Higgins thinks indictment precedes bigger attack. “rPOTUS”: “real POTUS,” Trump. “Hold”: “stand back & stand by.” “Buckle up”: prepare for war. “1/50 k”: military scale maps. “Know your bridges”: militia speak for prepare to seize bridges.”

— THE UNDERTOW, by Jeff Sharlet (@THE UNDERTOW, by Jeff Sharlet) 1686319755 

Yr Wonkette’s tendency is to treat comments like those from Higgins as if they come from a middle-aged weirdo who spent way too much of the 1980s reading whatever Mack Bolan novels he found on sale at the nearest Revco. So we’re grateful to the Jeff Sharlets of the world for reminding us to take it seriously . And maybe literally:

“If you’re laughing at Rep Clay Higgins using militia speak, referencing military grade maps, & telling Trumpers to “know your bridges,” recall that Canadian far rightists held border bridges recently in a tense stand off. This is on the table.”

— THE UNDERTOW, by Jeff Sharlet (@THE UNDERTOW, by Jeff Sharlet) 1686318499 

The danger here is not so much that militias are going to organize and carry off some commando operation at the Miami federal courthouse like terrorists in a self-important Netflix series. (It’s Florida, so Carl Hiassen-level commando operations are more likely.) No, the danger is that Higgins is going to activate lone nuts who have been marinating in the Right’s hysterical reactions to the Trump indictment and decide to take it on themselves to start a revolution.

That is how Timothy McVeigh wound up blowing an enormous hole in the Murrah building in Oklahoma City — and the day care inside it. And he hadn't spent a couple of decades marinating in Fox News and garbage like the Gateway Pundit first.

Tweets from congressmen calling for violence will get the attention, but Trump’s fans don’t really need the encouragement. They are perfectly capable of being threatening treasonous criminal-minded chuckleheads all on their own, as Vice is reporting :

 “We need to start killing these traitorous fuckstains,” wrote one Trump supporter on The Donald, a rabidly pro-Trump message board that played a key role in planning the January 6 attack on the Capitol. Another user added: “It's not gonna stop until bodies start stacking up. We are not civilly represented anymore and they'll come for us next. Some of us, they already have.” 

We do want to be cautious about giving too much agency to Internet randos, 99 percent of whom are probably blowing off admittedly superheated steam. But even one of them deciding to get off his butt and do something at the urging of and dark conspiratorial mutterings from elected representatives who should absolutely know better would be one too many.

America, where we don't always lock up our armed and unhinged lunatics. Sometimes we elect them to Congress instead.

[ Twitter / Vice ]

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