An unidentified 66-year old municipal official had to have his penis surgically removed after injuries sustained when he “enthusiastically overdosed on Viagra,” according to doctors. Just in case anything else in the story could be thrown in to make it sound completely fake, the afflicted gentleman is said to be a former member of the municipal council from the town of Gigante.
After treatment at St. God's Hospital, he will receive a lifetime supply of Brawndo.
Oh, do tell us everything, Colombia Reports. (Seriously, this is one where it just makes more sense to copypaste pretty much the WHOLE GODDAMN STORY:
The 66-year old man from the tiny town of Gigante, Huila, confessed to the local newspaper he had overdosed on Viagra in an attempt to please his new girlfriend.
However, as a result of his overly enthusiastic penis-enhancing-drug use, the anonymous man — who claims to be a former member of the Gigante municipal council — found that his penis had gone into an apparently constant state of erection.
Initially, the self-proclaimed politician didn’t mind his altered state, but found out his member began to hurt a few days into the erection.
Gigante doctors were alarmed by the complexity of the issue and referred the man to Neiva, the department capital with more ample medical facilities.
Medics at the Neiva hospital alerted the man his penis was inflamed, fractured and showed signs of gangrene, and had to be amputated to prevent the inflammation and gangrene from spreading to other parts of his body.
“The patient showed bruising on the testicles and penis, was treated and is recovering well,” a medic told local newspaper La Nacion.
The hospital warned locals to not use penis enhancing drugs without prescription to avoid incidents like this.
The unnamed politician was said to be undaunted by his sudden slump in the polls.
It remains to be seen whether RawStory intends to apologize to the unknown -- yet presumably intact -- elderly man in the stock photo that they attached to this story.
Anthony Weiner was unavailable for comment. (OK, we'll leave a few for you guys in the comments, too. Remember, mention of brand-name pharmaceuticals may win you a trip to the pending-comments queue.)
[ Colombia Reports via RawStory ]
You cut that out. You make the Freidmann op-ed generator look paltry.
In the boner pill ads, the woman <i>is</i> Viagra. Which makes it kinda hard (ha ha) to explain why the man needs the pills.