Take Me To Your Butter Cow It's your Iowa Caucus open thread, Wonkers! After all the prolonged teasing, flirting with billionaires, straining to get a surge in the polls, and lots and lots of sucking, it's time for the voters of Iowa to finally consummate their relationships with the candidates of their choice. And like any one-night stand, we can be certain that in the morning, some people will be grinning, others weeping, some wrapped in a sweaty mess of sodden linens, some will wake up in the arms of someone they never want to see again, and some, well, they'll still be wandering around cluelessly in the same empty-headed daze they started the night with. Yes, we mean Ben Carson.