231 Comments
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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

I had a friend in the Army back in the 1980s who, when asked to do any kind of PT at all, would assert: "If it hurts my d¡ck, I won't do it."

I think this bit of "wisdom of the ages" rather eludes the GOP caucus.

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motmelere's avatar

JFC, the best outcome of this shitshow will set the next food fight to be decided (or not) five weeks before the POTUS election with 1/3 of the senate and every house seat up for grabs. Hopefully the free dumb caucus will deliver a partial shutdown for the electorate to mull over.

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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

They cannot resist the urge to shoot themselves in the foot, empty the magazine, reload, and repeat.

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motmelere's avatar

Needs more bumpstock.

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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

LEGALIZE!!!!!!!

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Hooker P Tape skipping dipshit's avatar

My Johnson has been bad and needs a good whacking.

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Hooker P Tape skipping dipshit's avatar

"next week Republicans can get to work"

Ha, ha. You crack me up.

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SterWonk's avatar

> the few parts of government Republicans actually want to fund, like the Defense Department

You mean the Woke Abortionists (per Tuberville)?

> and border security.

Which would give Biden a "win"?

Nah, they won't care about those two.

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Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

"Thanks, House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-Louisiana)...You guys do shit like this to make government even more complicated and confusing than it already is, so people don’t know what the hell is going on, don’t you?"

It might be simpler than that. It might be because Mike Johnson is really stupid.

Occams famous razor! FTW!

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

Rand Paul wants to introduce an amendment to make it legal for him to dump his yard waste on his neighbor’s property.

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Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

And underneath that yard waste?

AQUA BUDDHA!

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Nemo's avatar

Mikey could be gone in a week. Maybe he'll be raptured, or caught wanking. It's hard to tell how he'll end his pointless and useless career.

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carovee's avatar

Oh god, not another round of sequestration. I don't think the impact that had on the economy has ever been fully explained or appreciated by the MSM.

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gene108's avatar

Couple sequestration with all the slashing and burning of state budgets after 2011, and there was a huge drop in government spending as people tried to get out from the Great Recession. Just slowed the recovery the hell down.

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The_Shadout_Mapes's avatar

As someone who relies solely on food stamps to feed my family, I am livid that the Party of Life wants us to starve.

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bluePNWcats's avatar

Amen to that. I recently found out that I make exactly six dollars too much to qualify for Oregon health plan to supplement alongside my Medicare, which has gaps in prescription coverage and dental/vision that Oregon health plan would cover. $6. Too much. But there are billionaires thriving in this country who can dodge hundreds of millions in taxes and it's not even shrugged at anymore. That $6 difference is fucking laughable, being based on a federal poverty calculation that's so far out of proportion with actual poverty as to be laughable.

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The_Shadout_Mapes's avatar

That makes me ragey. Your income is fixed, right? Because if not I would be awfully tempted to miss an hour of work each month…

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bluePNWcats's avatar

Yep. I'm considered fully disabled, and even though we got a decent Cost of living raise last year, the state just turned right around and docked me the same amount in food stamps that I gained. Also, HUD upped my rent in response to that raise, so there goes that. Poof. Like it never was. 😟

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The_Shadout_Mapes's avatar

But somehow we’re supposed to bOoTsTrApS out of poverty and disability. Just all the hugs.

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bluePNWcats's avatar

Yes. Bootstraps. Unless you become so poor that you have to cut up your boots and chew the leather for the nutrients, I guess. Then you're out of luck.

Edited to add: also thank you for the hugs. Back atcha 🤗

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Cheryl from Maryland's avatar

I worked for the Smithsonian Institution during the last actual shutdown (fuck off Ted Cruz, you total asshole shit). The number of hours we wasted preparing for that crap. The number of hours wasted these last few months due to these last minute extensions of continuing resolutions.

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Lefty Wright's avatar

We will be on the brink of a shutdown again in another week or two as the CR gets ready to expire again. Followed by another CR lasting only three weeks. Repeating itself every few weeks until they get into next fiscal year and operate the FY 2024 and 2025 federal budgets on continuing resolutions. But these CRs only fund programs at last year's budget. So some programs may be over funded as the need for federal funds in that specific program decreases, but more likely many other programs will be underfunded. Which will become an even bigger problem when spending in the 2025 fiscal year is limited to spending in the 2023 fiscal year.

So the GOP has hit upon a plan to keep the entire Congress in a permanent stalemate and unable to handle any other needed legislation like a border bill, environmental policies, voting rights, or any other crisis affecting America or the rest of the world because all of their time will be spent on stupid amendments to two budget bills with no chance of passing but constantly putting us on the brink of a shutdown. Which is not great for our economy or respect in the world.

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Eileen's avatar

"Like" 'cause TRUE.

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clairence's avatar

Also I had such a crush on Lynda Carter as a [checks notes] 6 to 9 year old.

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TheHeroOfCanton's avatar

I'll be in my invisible plane.

Btw, Lynda Carter as Principal Powers in 'Sky High'. She was in her mid-50s at the time. Still incredibly captivating.

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Anonymouse's avatar

So did my dad in his 60's and 70's.

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Secret Agent Super Dragon's avatar

"Had"? Rookie.

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Dick Fritter's avatar

Who didn't?

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clairence's avatar

"[The Chair of] the Freedom Caucus, said ... the House should attach strong new immigration restrictions" because nothing says freedom like restricting people's movements.

I think that word (freedom) doesn't mean what they think it does.

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carovee's avatar

They got their fucking immigration restrictions and they turned it down. No one should be reporting what the freedom caucus says ever.

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Bagels of Doom's avatar

this is really getting old.

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Dick Fritter's avatar

Comment of the day!

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beb's avatar

My first impression was that Wonder Woman was doing the Macarena.

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