Louisiana GOP Rep. Clay Higgins Gettin' ALL Dramatic Again

At least he's not accusing his wife of witchcraft this time.

Louisiana GOP Congressman Clay Higgins is a messy bitch who lives for drama.

When last we checked in on him, he was very concerned because his wife was having premonitions about some kind of end of the world scenario wherein they were going to be terrorized by jackbooted thugs raiding their home and taking their "unauthorized foods."

"What happened to our freedom?" She asked. What indeed. 

Before that, Clay Higgins became Wonkette famous when he spent an entire congressional hearing basically whimper-yelling "WHAR BOXES?" at Michael Cohen, because he was just really confused why Cohen was in possession of boxes of evidence he had turned over to the FBI, and which the FBI had subsequently given back to him.

Anyway, Higgins isn't quite as worried about protecting his Jim Bakker Food Buckets from those of us that would destroy them. And we guess his questions about Michael Cohen's boxes got answered. (Or he filed them away in his brain as an unknowable mystery.) Rather, it appears that he is concerned Joe Biden being elected was part of a conspiracy to dismantle the American election process and, indeed, America itself.

Text:

If Biden is inaugurated as the 46th President of the United States on January 20th, it will mark the final hour of conspiracy to dismantle the American election process, and the first hour of conspiracy to dismantle America.

It is not entirely clear what Clay Higgins thinks is going on here, or in the world at large. He seems to think he is battling some evil forces that just want to murder America for the thrill of it. Like it's a cartoon and the villains he's up against are just people who want bad things for no other reason than that they are bad, and who have absolutely no endgame whatsoever. It's easier for him to believe there is some big conspiracy to "dismantle America" than it is for him to believe that a majority of people in the country disagree with him.

That's some extreme solipsism right there. And it's also pretty dangerous because he is a sitting congressman with actual legislative power.

Now, you might be thinking, how does one keep this up when the crap they're talking about never actually happens? Like when Biden assumes office and everything is super boring? Well, surely, he will just switch to a new major emergency or his wife will have another premonition. Probably they'll start going on about Jade Helm again. I bet that will be a thing.

Higgins isn't the only one going right off the deep end at the moment, and we're not even counting Donald Trump or his Kraken lawyers. As Politico reports today, there has been a rash of Republican leaders calling for secession these last few weeks:

Texas GOP chair Allen West floated the idea of a new union of "law-abiding states," and Texas State Rep. Kyle Biedermann—previously best known for dressing up as " gay Hitler "—pledged to file a bill in Austin to put the question of Texas secession to voters. Rep. Randy Weber also posted pro-secession material on his Facebook page, becoming the first official in Washington to advocate for disintegrating the U.S. Trump's most reliable media supporters have likewise spread the idea nationally. Rush Limbaugh, recent recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom, this month claimed the country was suddenly "trending toward secession." Fellow arch-conspiracist Glenn Beck echoed the argument a few days later, as did a raft of blue-check authoritarians . American militias have now begun picking up the scent; one just the other day urged "all conservative states to join together to secede."

The only reason they're doing this is because they think we're all gonna go "Stop! Don't! Come back!" and then just go along with whatever they want. Or fight an entire war to keep them around. Now, I certainly don't think secession is the way to go, largely because there are sane people in all states who don't deserve to be stuck with these assholes, but I'm also not going to go to war to keep them. While I have not purchased the Steve Madden rhinestone combat boots I have had my eye on, they are fairly indicative of the level of soldier-ing I would be able to contribute. I don't even go camping . I'm certainly not taking up arms to hold on to Allen West, Glenn Beck and Gay Hitler costume guy. Or Clay Higgins.

We'll just, you know, help all the sane people move.

[ Twitter / Politico ]

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