Cosa Nose-tra

The New York Post reports that Osama bin Laden met with Colombian drug-cartel leaders in 2002, sounding out the feasibility of a plot to acquire tons of cocaine, poison the supply, and unleash it into the U.S. drug market. The scheme was supposed to create mass fatalities, killing more Americans than died in the September 11 terror attacks, while sending Yank cokeheads everywhere into a state of hysteria. Reportedly the cartel rejected the plan out of fears of US reprisals, and also on the sound economic grounds that killing off your customer base is a bad long-term business model. Senior cartel members also retained a vivid memory of the chilling results of the last major contamination of the American coke market: the fateful day in 1994 when Waterworld got greenlighted.--HOLLY MARTINS

 Coke Fiend Bin Laden [New York Post; reg. required]