1166 Comments
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Craig Nixon's avatar

Wait...weird comics where Archie is a Jesus People?

Shit, that's more out than most Chick tracts.

Dan B Lowery's avatar

I just noticed in the Rapture illustration, just white people were were on the big escalator to heaven. So what's up with that?

Craig Nixon's avatar

Silly, everyone knows only wypipo get into heaven.

They probably think there's a Kennedy's in the hereafter, where all the Black folk go.

Dale Lyles's avatar

It seems that our fundamentalist overlords have already declared holy war on the rest of us: “The other side is fueled by godless and toxic ideologies, foreign to the Western way of life, with intolerant hearts filled with rage and hate." So very unlike the members of the [[[Republican Adminstration]]].

Stuart's avatar

Ladies, from the picture, you won't be raptured without at least C-cups. Just so you know.

tehbaddr's avatar

And nice tight firm thighs and buttocks also, too!

tehbaddr's avatar

The Rapture! I can see up her miniskirt and she's going commando!

Paytheline's avatar

Please keep us posted on rapture developments, since I am scheduled to be barbecued at that shindig.

Bruce's avatar

Looking at that comic book it's clear that Gawd only likes whypipo...

Mole Child of Cluelessness's avatar

Judging by the comic pictured the righteous will be lifted up to heaven by their nipples, that just sounds too painful for me and I'm gonna have to just see what Satan has in store.

eo's avatar

According to a kid I knew way back when in Confirmation class, Satan drags damned souls down to Hell by their "wing dings".

ERISunveiled's avatar

"Launching Armageddon to bring about the return of Christ is not subject to the War Powers Act."

So what happens when Christ comes back and isn't maga?

Bruce's avatar

MAGa nails him up again in a heartbeat....

ERISunveiled's avatar

Wait. You didn't think they revaluate their entire worldview? UNpossible!

ERISunveiled's avatar

Should the next Democrat running for Pres run on completely cutting off Israel funding?

Don't get hung up if that will ever happen. Would YOU support that message?

Wookiee Monster's avatar

That girl’s skirt is way too short to be rapture worthy.

Kirsty Gnome-Poledance Himmler's avatar

In order of preference:

Breasts

Thighs

Legs

Wings

Wookiee Monster's avatar

Now we just need some buffalo sauce.

Dudley Didwrong's avatar

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Rhand Holm's avatar

It's impossible to prove god is real. The best folk can do is achieve consensus. The more people that believe, the more "true" the religion is. Often, consensus is achieved through violence like hanging, burning at the stake, and torture. Sometimes it's a war. You can't disagree if you're dead. Most religions have engaged in these tactics at some point in history.

ERISunveiled's avatar

just recently an Isaac Newton quote came across my desk, "Religion is partly fundamental & immutable, partly circumstantial & mutable." I think that's a pretty healthy attitude

Wookiee Monster's avatar

Torture was justified because nothing they could do to someone here could be worse than an eternity of torment in Hell that their loving god has prepared for them.

Torturing someone to accept the love and forgiveness of Jesus was for their own good!

Wookiee Monster's avatar

Call me crazy, but I don’t think starting the battle of Armageddon is going to win Pedo 47 the peace prize.

Dudley Didwrong's avatar

But if Jesus wipes out the entire population of Norway for their heresies, then somebody'll have to do the voting.

Rags's avatar

Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven by Twain. Well worth a read in this context.

data_ninja's avatar

How are these people gonna feel when Jesus does come but he isn't white?

Parakeetist's avatar

He's brown. He's from Israel or Judea or Palestine, whichever you call it.

Wookiee Monster's avatar

I’m more concerned about why they’re going to do when he doesn’t come back.

Dudley Didwrong's avatar

I'm not "concerned." I'm stocking up on popcorn.

Kirsty Gnome-Poledance Himmler's avatar

As THEY say, "Eternity is a long time to be wrong. Dammit.". I guess.