"So it’s hardly a surprise to hear reports of commanders explaining that we aren’t just bombing Iran to wipe out the nuclear program we already obliterated, or to cause regime change by magic (we’ll let Iranians die for that cause), or to keep Israel and Saudi Arabia happy. We’ve got us a Second Coming to spark, and the US military is the shield and vibrator of the Lord."
`
The fact that it will make their repressed little dingers sort of hard, instead of flapping in the breeze like a used car lot pennant, is just a bonus.
What happens to the guy who accidentally looks up the skirt of the woman being raptured ahead of him. Does that send him straight to hell instead? God needs to think of these things before rapturing modern women in miniskirts.
Didn't you know? The Lord has heard about the Epstein Files. It's His last laugh as the men start to notice that they're falling behind in this, as well as college graduation rates, health, longevity, and employment!
"The commander, said the complainant, “specifically referenced numerous citations out of the Book of Revelation referring to Armageddon and the imminent return of Jesus Christ.” He said that “President Trump has been anointed by Jesus to light the signal fire in Iran to cause Armageddon and mark his return to Earth.”"
If your battlefield briefing starts sounding like a prophecy seminar, we’ve officially wandered off the constitutional map. Soldiers swear an oath to defend the Constitution, not to help anyone speed-run the Book of Revelation. The moment someone thinks missile strikes are a countdown to the Rapture, war stops being strategy and starts looking like theology fan-fiction with a Pentagon budget.
The obvious reality- to me- is that ‘Armageddon’ will be complete nuclear war, and the ‘saved’ rising up to ‘heaven’ will be the dust of all the immolated people, on earth.
SecDef Drunky still hasn’t found his morals in the bottom his cups, or the pages of his bible.
I saw this on the Internets today: “If [wealthy, powerful people] can get us to accept that the future’s already settled, AI is already here, the end is already here, then we will create that for them. My most daring idea is to refuse.”
I refuse to believe in God, the Bible, the End Times, and all of this nonsense. Fuck these assholes.
>> So yeah, things are going just as god wants, is what we’re saying. <<
It's amazing how often what God wants is exactly what these wackaloons want.
In case anyone's interested in "The Rapture: Bigger, Longer & Uncut" it's here:
https://ia601309.us.archive.org/20/items/Al-Hartley-comics/20.%20There%27s%20a%20New%20World%20Coming%20%281974%29_text.pdf
"So it’s hardly a surprise to hear reports of commanders explaining that we aren’t just bombing Iran to wipe out the nuclear program we already obliterated, or to cause regime change by magic (we’ll let Iranians die for that cause), or to keep Israel and Saudi Arabia happy. We’ve got us a Second Coming to spark, and the US military is the shield and vibrator of the Lord."
`
The fact that it will make their repressed little dingers sort of hard, instead of flapping in the breeze like a used car lot pennant, is just a bonus.
If “President Trump has been anointed by Jesus to light the signal fire”, It’s just possible that there was a fly in that ointment.
What happens to the guy who accidentally looks up the skirt of the woman being raptured ahead of him. Does that send him straight to hell instead? God needs to think of these things before rapturing modern women in miniskirts.
Didn't you know? The Lord has heard about the Epstein Files. It's His last laugh as the men start to notice that they're falling behind in this, as well as college graduation rates, health, longevity, and employment!
Dudes, you’re not the boss of God.
Based on that drawing Jesus has a statistically significant preference for hot young women.
Well, I see that 1970s comic artist got the MAGA lips right, anyway..
Plus also! A Sundays with the Christianists link? Is it my birthday?? (not for two more weeks but I'll take it)
"The commander, said the complainant, “specifically referenced numerous citations out of the Book of Revelation referring to Armageddon and the imminent return of Jesus Christ.” He said that “President Trump has been anointed by Jesus to light the signal fire in Iran to cause Armageddon and mark his return to Earth.”"
All I could say to this was, "Holy shit."
If your battlefield briefing starts sounding like a prophecy seminar, we’ve officially wandered off the constitutional map. Soldiers swear an oath to defend the Constitution, not to help anyone speed-run the Book of Revelation. The moment someone thinks missile strikes are a countdown to the Rapture, war stops being strategy and starts looking like theology fan-fiction with a Pentagon budget.
Also, the author of Revelations was bonkers. He's the Biblical version of a Caroline Leavitt press conference or a Pam Bondi hearing
The obvious reality- to me- is that ‘Armageddon’ will be complete nuclear war, and the ‘saved’ rising up to ‘heaven’ will be the dust of all the immolated people, on earth.
SecDef Drunky still hasn’t found his morals in the bottom his cups, or the pages of his bible.
I made the mistake of sending this article to a very opinionated acquaintance yesterday.
He has no sense of humor, and I was worried about how he would react to Wonkette.
He asked me my response to the article, and I told him that I was concerned about how much impact Christian Nationalists were having on the military.
He retorted, "Do you know the PROPER response?"
Ugh. I knew I shouldn't have sent him the article.
Do any of these "religious" commanders ever become a bit...shall we say...chastened after Armageddon doesn't happen...again?
Sorry. What am I thinking?
Fuck Trump.
Wait til Jews find out they’re not in Rapture’s Final Reel. Fundies love Israelites, but not IRL Jews.
I saw this on the Internets today: “If [wealthy, powerful people] can get us to accept that the future’s already settled, AI is already here, the end is already here, then we will create that for them. My most daring idea is to refuse.”
I refuse to believe in God, the Bible, the End Times, and all of this nonsense. Fuck these assholes.
Swell. What was that line in "Aliens?" after that CO gave a stupid order?
"I feel so much safer now."