Dave Weigel Tongue-Bathes Roger Ailes, Asks If He Was Gentle Enough

The few times we have ever paid attention to Dave Weigel, he struck us as a reasonably intelligent guy even if we don't agree with his politics. So maybe someone out there can tell us: did he hit his head on something recently? Take up smoking opium? Develop a brain cloud? Because there must be some explanation for why he’s giving props to this speech by Roger Ailes at some right-wing circle jerk of an awards dinner on Wednesday night.

Ailes delivered the speech while being awarded $250,000 from the Bradley Foundation, some conservative organization dedicated to the preservation of free enterprise and limited government and unconditional love for Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker. Who even listens anymore to the meaningless buzzwords these wastes of life-sustaining resources spout off?

The only people who pay attention are other conservatives and Dave Weigel, who you can almost hear roll his eyes at Ailes’ opening joke. But then, once past what Weigel called “the silly part,” Ailes unleashed such a stream of garbage for the rubes who have made him a rich man that a veteran reporter like Weigel should easily recognize it for being unmitigated, unadulterated, 100% pure bullshit... or as Weigel calls it, a "show stopper: "

We covered Benghazi when four Americans were killed, even though no other network would touch the story. It's important because it involves over 200 years of military ideals. You see, if we ask you to go out in the night, and risk your life for America, we promise we will backstop you and try to get you out of it as far as humanly possible. In Benghazi we did not do that. I've come to the conclusion I don't really care what the President of the United States was doing that night. However, I would like to know what the commander-in-chief was doing that night.

Probably practicing his short game on the White House putting green while our brave heroes were dying, because that’s how he rolls. Because obviously the death of our ambassador to Libya was part of a devious White House plot to troll the right wing for the rest of Obama's presidency.

A few other hot news topics these days include the IRS. The federal government is about to hire 16,000 more IRS agents to enforce health care. Forty-seven new tax increases! No wonder they need guns! We already know the IRS is arrogant. They waste as much money as other government agencies. They enjoy pushing people around. And they can't line dance! We don't need 16,000 more people who can't line dance. And we don't need more people with guns enforcing our health care! Hi, granny, get your hands up, we're tired of telling you this, but take your Metamucil.

Ahem, Dave? Do you want to let this go unremarked upon? In that case may we direct you over to Jonathan Chait, who reminds us that the whole “16,000 more IRS agents,” a favorite right-wing screeching point while the ACA was being written, was knocked down three years ago ? Also the forty-seven new tax increases, which are actually forty-seven new provisions of the law that the IRS is involved in administering? As for the assertion that these non-existent new agents who are not getting hired will be armed, that seems to come from this story that has been circulating in the right-leaning precincts of Crazytown for the last few days, ever since Rep. Jeff Duncan (R-South Carolina, natch) went all cuckoo bonkers over IRS agents training with AR-15s. Sure, that might sound strange to anyone who read  The Pale King  or even just anyone who has ever met an accountant – until you remember that the IRS has a division called Criminal Investigation, which pursues violent criminals and their operations alongside better-known agencies like the DEA and the ATF and has been doing so since, oh, the Wilson administration.

But tell us again, Dave, how it was just the opening joke that was the silly part and the rest of the speech had “flashes of real passion.” Sure it was gibberish and lies, but it waspassionately delivered. Which is how Roger Ailes makes more money in a week than we will see in our lifetime. Two hundred and fifty grand fleeced from some rich suckers is all in a day's work for Roger Ailes.

Dave Weigel, today you are a bulging, overstuffed sack of fail. Expect the Sunday morning talk shows to start calling at any moment.

[ Weigel / NYMag / MaddowBlog ]