Deleted Comments: JFK Died In An Occult Ritual And Q Knows Everything!

The Commentczar's in Town

The very stable QAnon geniuses -- who think Donald Trump and Robert Mueller are teaming up to end the global Clinton/Obama/Soros/Hollywood sex-trafficking ring, you know -- have once again dropped by Yr Wonkette to try -- unsccessfully, it would seem -- to save us from our own folly. It turns out that while we think we know what's going on, we're really just fooling ourselves, and the world is actually quite easy to explain: a massive conspiracy runs everything, but some anonymous posts to 4Chan actually explain it all! 

Our post on QAnon people explaining John McCain's deathbrought this message from "Debbie Canada," who actually deleted it herself. I ran across it while looking through the deletia for something else entirely, and by golly, it's simply too smart not to share with you all. Prepare tobe amazed! 

Q predicted the death of John McCain a month before he actually died.....to the exact day and minute! How do you explain that, doubters? Maybe you should stop trusting people you don't know, and go read the Q posts for yourselves. If you did, you would know that jfk jr is alive, and faked his own death to bring down this deep state swamp that killed his father in a very public occult ritual, and were planning on killing him. John McCain was a very big player in the deep state.

This is simply good logic: stop trusting people you don't know, and start trusting an anonymous troll instead, because JFK Jr. is still alive and fighting behind the scenes to end the vast secret conspiracy that killed his father in an occult ritual. Yeesh, don't you people know ANYTHING? As for the idea that Q predicted McCain's death "to the exact day and minute," we haven't seen that one, but if "Debbie" saw it on the internet, we bet it's true! HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT, DOUBTERS?

While she elected not to stay around Wonkette (a decision we're behind 100 percent!), Debbie is certainly an active presence on other sites, like celebrity gossip site TMZ, where she fights to wake up the SHEEPLE:

• You are so brainwashed, you can't even see that racism is a mainstream media fake news operation. It is not the people of America that are racist; It is the occult new world order freemasons that are using racism as a tool to divide people. Cops are not Americans first. They are Cops first, employed and controlled by the occult new world order freemasons that are working to enslave us. Do the research. jfk jr is alive.

• Colin Kaepernick is a witch. #Fuc*Ni*e

• Whatever you hear in the occult new world order media, is the exact opposite of the truth. Trump is God, sent to take out the occult deep state freemasons from the government, military, policing and justice. Throw out your television and stay away from mainstream media online. If you do the research, you will see the truth.

We also heard from some rando calling himself "Hardcore Chemtard," who left an epic 1,143-word rant on Yr Wonkette's post-election-day 2016 post, because heavens, isn't every day the Day After the election? Must have been that "GO FUCK YOURSELF AMERICA" headline that drew the guy -- whose Disqus avatar is, yes, a picture of jet contrails.

Because we love you, we won't reproduce the whole thing, but golly, Chemboy sure wishes we'd come to our senses and see the truth -- if we can handle it, and we probably can't:  

You're a douche along with all your America hating commie friends. So you know, just F you, and Hitlery Klinton, and socialism, and progressives, and if what you really want is a fight, well, you are all about to get one. I'm not talking about with words either. None of you have any idea of what is really going on in the world. If you did, you'd commit suicide for accidentally supporting it. It is coming out now. It is well under way. When the American People finally get told a fraction of what's been going on, they will literally throw up, get sick, and some will go into a psychotic break. You will be kicking your own asses for supporting the "white-splaining, woman hating, yadda yadda yadda....ad nauseum, ad infinitum" yelling people that utter these lies constantly, and who you thought were saints. They are straight outta hell, where their father dwells.

We should note that while Chemical Romance doesn't ever mention "Q," that's definitely what he's on about -- although he also can't quite bring himself to tell us exactly what shocking secret will lead to a wave of suicides and psychotic breaks, either -- it could in fact turn out to be the eldritch words of Cthulhu.

Nah, it's George Soros's sex farm of course, referenced only tangentially. The signs are EVERYWHERE!

Why do you think so many CEO's have resigned? How about the politicians? Have you even took note of it? Are you aware of the executive order? Are you aware we are in a state of emergency due to corruption in our government and other governments and human trafficking? It's not cool to sell kids for sex and rituals? What's that? You think I'm insane? Oh, well we will all see about that.

You know, the state of emergency we're in that only the devout kooks know about. In mere reality, it was an executive order allowing the seizure of human rights abusers' US assets -- under the Magnitsky Act the Russians wanted to get rid of, even. But the order itself does use the word "emergency," so the QAnon people decided it was a national state of emergency allowing Donald Trump to move against Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton,and seize their assets . This, of course, is bullshit, but it was on the internet.

There's a lot more, including some ranting about the war on whiteness, and why do we want all white people exterminated (do you people want Barack Obama's white half exterminated, too, you hypocrites?), and also, when it comes to WAR, our correspondent is ready! 

But if you guys want a war, well, then I guess I won't have any choice will I? I don't plan to sit back and watch it go down. The basement dwelling thugs with sticks and masks will be oh so sorry once they really piss us off. We are trying to live free, and they, and those who buy into the ideology of CNN and Soros, well, they are sadly deceived and quite naïve. It's pitiful really. Well, I hope you will all wake up, and I hope Trump will release these truths I speak of very soon, and the mass roundup of kiddy-fiddlers and traffickers of innocent little boys and girls will be brought to justice. The only justice for them is death. I'd like to think they should be tortured a while first.

You know, because the Constitution is really big on torture.

The poor guy then had to go and make us sad, because he is genuinely terrified that the completely fictional Soros sex cult is coming for his kid, and man oh man we hope someone with such a tenuous grip on reality is speaking only hypothetically about having a child, we really do:

Anyone lays a hand on my boy, well, they will die. Slowly. Painfully. I don't care what law I broke by taking it into my own hands. That's just how it will go down. Just take a look at the news. I mean the real stuff they've buried down, way down, so you won't see it. You'll see how many have been arrested for kiddy-fiddling.

Not exactly our top candidate for parent of the month, but we remain hopeful this person's "son" is as purely notional as the real reality what he thinks is real.

The Chemical Bother then gets back to his main theme, which is that he only wants us all to be free of the Dark State Control that's slowly killing us all, and so really, he is our friend, not our enemy, unless we insist on making him our enemy, in which case he will have to kill us -- but with sadness, if that helps. In any case, we all need to turn off the TV, because

The real news is never on TV. It comes from brave ex-government employees and politicians who decided that it was their duty and it was imperative to educate the people on what is really happening. You call it conspiracy theory. You won't do that any more, and that time will arrive very soon.

Why do we insist on being so blind? It makes Chemical Peel SO SAD, you guys!

I just sighed, and it was because I'm having to say all this. If the corrupt shadow government embroiled in secrecy and the corruption does not get stopped as is planned right now, well, it's going to be sad, because there will be a lot of bloodshed, and this nation will likely collapse. I for one, do not want that scenario. Do you? Why would you? I hope you'll have a big ol' cup of wake the Fk up. I'll buy.

Won't you do your part to stop the madness and the inevitable bloodshed, and listen to the voices of reason which know that everything you think is reality is a lie? It's just good sense, folks.

Also, that was all one paragraph. Line breaks are of the devil.

 When they go dumbass, we go smartass. Support well-informed smartassery by sending Yr Wonkette some money!