89 Comments

And I have prevented a messload of abortions by not... Oh, nvm.

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I carry a picture of Mike Liut in my wallet to ward off cobras. Haven't seen a one since he was traded to Hartford in '85.

Effectiveness: unimpeachable.

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OT, but my ears are still bleeding from the NYC fireworks X-travaganza. Might be from the bombs bursting in air, but more likely it's from the Las Vegas jazzy nightclub version of "This Land Is Your Land." That, and the ungodly howl of Woody Guthrie spinning in his gave.

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Hoping the doc would prescribe broccoli?

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They didn't settle it the Real American™ way, with guns?

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or Martin Mull.....

<i>This land ain't your land. This land is myyyyy land From California to Levittown, Long Island. From the Gulf Stream Golf Course To the US Air Force, uh huh, This land was made for folks like me.</i>

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For me it was those douchebags who wrote <i>Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus,</i>.... Oh, and St. Paul.

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I have banned them from my students' writing, but still they return...

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A friend of mine lived long ago in Santa Barbara, where a breatharian guru was spreading his word and gaining converts. Until he was seen in McD's wolfing down a big mac.

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Happy Sweet Sixteen, Malia. Now you can get a driver's license and borrow Joe's Trans-Am (Secret Service permitting)!

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This is the guy that said he had "raje", right?

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They keep them in their sub-sofa storage closet.

Edit: To be clear, that's because those things are totally crazy: nearly as inaccessible as a proper gun safe, yet still available to the curious child.

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Their, they're.

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It's for damn sure why I don't have one in the car.

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I read that story. Written by a Mr. Claude Bawls.

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