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Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

And I have prevented a messload of abortions by not... Oh, nvm.

Jared James's avatar

I carry a picture of Mike Liut in my wallet to ward off cobras. Haven't seen a one since he was traded to Hartford in '85.

Effectiveness: unimpeachable.

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

OT, but my ears are still bleeding from the NYC fireworks X-travaganza. Might be from the bombs bursting in air, but more likely it's from the Las Vegas jazzy nightclub version of "This Land Is Your Land." That, and the ungodly howl of Woody Guthrie spinning in his gave.

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

They didn't settle it the Real American™ way, with guns?

Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

or Martin Mull.....

<i>This land ain't your land. This land is myyyyy land From California to Levittown, Long Island. From the Gulf Stream Golf Course To the US Air Force, uh huh, This land was made for folks like me.</i>

Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

For me it was those douchebags who wrote <i>Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus,</i>.... Oh, and St. Paul.

Vienna Woods's avatar

I have banned them from my students' writing, but still they return...

Vienna Woods's avatar

A friend of mine lived long ago in Santa Barbara, where a breatharian guru was spreading his word and gaining converts. Until he was seen in McD's wolfing down a big mac.

Lot_49's avatar

Happy Sweet Sixteen, Malia. Now you can get a driver's license and borrow Joe's Trans-Am (Secret Service permitting)!

bobbert's avatar

This is the guy that said he had "raje", right?

bobbert's avatar

They keep them in their sub-sofa storage closet.

Edit: To be clear, that's because those things are totally crazy: nearly as inaccessible as a proper gun safe, yet still available to the curious child.

bobbert's avatar

Their, they're.

bobbert's avatar

It's for damn sure why I don't have one in the car.

Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

I read that story. Written by a Mr. Claude Bawls.