Deleted Comments Of The Week: Hey, Libturds, A Jar Of Pickles Is Not A Medical Exam!

The bowl of petunias only said, 'Oh no, not again.'

We had quite an impressive pile of deletia this week, about two thirds of which were from one really verbose guy who wrote nine million comments about why Republicans are all rich like him, and Democrats are not. Not one of 'em was worth quoting. Some of the most strangely insistent posts were from Hillary Clinton Pickle Truthers, who knew, JUST KNEW that the whole jar-of-pickles farce on the Jimmy Kimmel Show was not really proof of Hillary Clinton's health, and besides, that jar of pickles had already been opened!!!!!!! Which kind of misses the point that it was a comedy bit and nothing more. Nay, the sad reality is that Hillary Clinton is simultaneously on death's door AND an enormous threat to freedom and world peace -- at least if she manages to outlive William Henry Harrison once in office. Bundle up for that inauguration, Hillz.

Typical of the genre was one "bummy mcmuffin," a Trump supporter who knows what's really up with the Dead Candidate Walking:

so her opening a jar of already opened pickles debunks the fact she has onset Parkinson disease, frequent seizures to the point she has a personal medical handler standing by with epipen needle. or that she wears long coats to hide her diapers or when shes wearing a suit you can clearly see a pissbag tied to her leg, the fact she cant stand up for more than 20 minutes without needing her stool or the fact she cant walk up stares without the help of 4 SS agenda. Yup. that jar of pickles sure proved me shes healthy as horse. Liberal retardation has no bounds.

But let's be honest here: Who among us can walk up a flight of stares unassisted? Bummymcmuffin seems like a really nice person who would also deny that Trump appeals to racists, because as we learn in her or his comment history, there's nothing racist about insisting white people invented everything good in technology, culture and the arts, and the blacks never did anything as "scientists, inventors and authors scullers" in history. Hell, "they cant even event a proper home or a weapon past stone age spear let along contribute to human development." These are just facts, for which we home bummymcmuffin will win a scullership to Trump University.

Just to make sure we got the point, bummymcmuffin added,

show us your medical records, a jar of pickles is not a valid medical exam.

Damn straight. We are delighted to know that the 2016 election now involves angry skeptical examination of comedy bits. We're also looking into a limited run of "A jar of pickles is not a valid medical exam" tees and coffee mugs, unless of course we go with "Vagenda of Manocide" instead. Or does that go on panties?

More Pickle Trutherism from "edrebber," who Zaprudered the shit out of that Jimmy Kimmel bit:

I've had some vacuum packed glass jars that I couldn't open. The ones I could open made a loud pop when the lid turned. I didn't hear any pop when Hillary opened the jar.

There was a chance that Hillary wouldn't be able to open the jar and she still could have been healthy. There is no way Hillary would risk not being able to open the jar on national TV.

This was a setup.

The truth is painful to delicate snowflakes such as yourself.

When he finally flounced, edrebber announced proudly, "Wow, I've never triggered so many flaming libs with 1 comment before. Thank you one and all."

Oh, no, Ed. Thank you. We look forward to your digitally enhanced audio analysis of the Picklegate Tape.

"Dennis Oppihory" wanted to point out that Liberals Everywhere are naught but a bunch of big ol' hypocrites, since the only thing we ever talked about in 2008 was John McCain's health, which as we recall was only of concern to us after he selected a side salad as his running mate. Then we really wanted to be sure he was in excellent health. Dennis had a lot to say on the matter, including some very witty replies to women, thus proving Bill Clinton is a big ol' sexist:

• funny when it was mccain's health in question during his prez run your side was screaming for him to release his medical records. this attempt to deflect from the fact she falls down stairs,needs a stool at her rallies and is asking for a change in the debate rules so she can sit during the debates is lame and nobody is buying it. she needs to release her medical records immediately

• LOL - so you have a bad back. she had a blood clot in her head after a severe fall. geez get a frickin clue. let's see the medical records....

• keep in mind hillary had a severe fall and received a concussion in 2012. she was hospitalized diagnosed with a blood clot and took many months before she resumed work. she has had problems since including vision problems and vertigo. also keep in mind who would become president if she dies in office. that is a legitimate concern. if she has nothing to hide release the full set of medical records not "medical evaluations" by paid shills.

• says the sugar plum fairy. LOL first lady bill's going to need a new intern. you would make a perfect human cigar holder

• sounds like you want some of that action... you know first lady bill clinton's gonna need a knew intern. you would be perfect

• yeah. when she falls over because she can't stand for the whole debate

Pfft, "medical evaluations" by paid shills. After all, what is a doctor but a paid shill? To get a truly objective opinion, BOTH candidates need to be seen by Dr. Spaceman. 

We heard from a number of very thoughtful Trumpsters on other topics as well. Person of few words (and username of few letters) "M S" took issue with our piece, "New Democratic Ad Is Just People Reading Gross Breitbart Headlines..." and made some very funny jokes!

• They found Democrats that can read? Amazing.

• No, you like to think you are all those things. Being indoctrinated is not the same as being intellectual.

"M S" also zinged us on another piece, again cleverly playing off the headline:

• "Even Nixonian Dirty Tricks Jerkface Roger Goddamned Stone Thinks Trump Should Release Taxes"

  Why? Does he think there might be something in Trump's taxes like "Sat on ass and did nothing while Americans were killed in Benghazi"?

• I get it. This website is someone's high school project, right?

We'll admit it: That last one made us larff.

We pretty had no choice but to ban "winston smith" for thinking a username from 1984 was edgy or brave, because if you want a picture of the future, imagine a cliché pounding on a keyboard -- for ever:

• I have always voted Democratic. Not this time. I will vote Trump over Hillary. No way in hell I will vote for a person who voted GW authorization to go into Iraq.

• I'm fine I will just run off to your SJW, anti racist, safe space where we can all sit down and talk about how words hurt our feels.

• ("winston's" response to someone who pointed out that Trump supported the Iraq war and only came to oppose it a year after the invasion, when things started going bad: ) Was he in government?

That last one was pretty trenchant: I'd only vote for someone who was for the war then lied about it later, not for someone who was for it then came to apologize for her vote and say it was a huge error. Having no record of public service at all is a huge advantage!

And finally, from "tonye," there was this deep analysis of thatHillary Clinton ad with an actual real KKK guy explaining why he loves Trump, which tonye thought was super-unfair:

Dude.... the Left accuses Trump of many things... but provides absolutely no facts. It's all BS.

Just ike One Eye Reid acussing Mittens of not paying taxes....

Lies, lies and more lies and then you get people that write articles like this. Trying to sound cute but in reality just supporting Goebbels and Big Brother. They might think themselves as Winston Smiths with a conscience but in reality they are just Tom Parsons' with a keyboard and a credit card.

At what point will you all realize that while Trump's "foibles" are made up innuendo and smear tactics by the Uni Party and the Corporate Media (plus all the self described "intelligentsia" ), the "foibles" of the Clintons are criminal.

Again with the Orwell! So yes, pointing out that Trump has been appealing to racists and neo-Nazis is just like Goebbels... We aren't certain if that's a good thing or a bad thing, since "tonye" is a regular at Breitbart, where tonye says the "alt-right" is simply terrific and Trump's speeches are "magnificent." And where they also bitched about how UNFAIR Yr Wonkette is:

I just got banned from wonkette.com for stating out the facts about Trump being smeared by the Uni Party and the Corporate Media...

.. while Hillary's problems are criminal.

They went nuts over that. .and then some smug SOB Nazi moderator (totalltarian, anit-diversity, leftist) banned me.

I'be been on the Internet since it was the Darpanet and I have never been banned. Today, the state of affairs is that the American Left is incapable and unwilling to engage in honest dialogue. They are a bunch of liars and intellectually corrupt zealots.

Wonkette.com is quite bad, btw. I'd guess it must be filled with intellectual challenged pajama boys who (by the female dominatrix shown in the background) have never really met reality.

Oh, that Trump and his little foibles. You want to know who the real fascist is? Yr Doktor Zoom, who won't allow an honest dialogue about all the facts in tonye's post. Gosh, suddenly we feel like annexing the Sudetenland.