Democrats Having Exact Right Amount Of Fun Watching Kevin McCarthy Fail

Bless their hearts.

We don't know what's going to happen today.

But we do know that, unless a historian proves us wrong (DARE YOU, NERDS), there has never been a time in history when the "losing" political party has spent so much of the first day of a new Congress just sitting back and giggling at the "winners," celebrating the once-in-a-century failure that is Kevin McCarthy.

Democratic Senator Patty Murray of Washington made history yesterday when she became the first woman to serve as Senate pro tem, which makes her third in line to the presidency. She was asked about that.

“Over in the Senate, Patty Murray today became the first female president pro tem in history. I asked how it feels to be third in line to the presidency. "Well, today I’m second, because Kevin McCarthy’s not speaker." 😂”

— Jennifer Bendery (@Jennifer Bendery) 1672770447 

HuffPost reporter Jennifer Bendery tweets that when she asked Murray how it feels to be third in line to the presidency, Murray said, "Well, today, I'm second, because Kevin McCarthy's not speaker."

 Giphy 

It was like that the whole day. As they voted over and over and over again, as Kevin McCarthy lost a little bit more support each time, Democrats just kicked back and pointed and laughed and voted for Hakeem Jeffries, over and over again. Jeffries has won more votes than McCarthy in every vote so far. Ruben Gallego referred to Jeffries as the "current vote leader" when he cast one of his votes. At one point, a Democratic rep said they were proud to cast their vote for "the prince of the People's Republic of Brooklyn."

They cheered. They giggled. They made fun of George Santos. Gerry Connolly tweeted, and deleted, a fake quote from Santos saying that he was with McCarthy ride or die, because "Kevin McCarthy was at my side at Normandy."

 Ted Lieu brought actual popcorn:

 Democrats explained to boneheaded Beltway journalists that no, you idiots , they were not going to go home early or do anything that would help Kevin McCarthy.

If they were Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, they crossed the House floor to fuck with Matt Gaetz's and Paul Gosar's heads.

 Babies were born. 

 Babies pooped and had to be changed.

And all the while those babies were learning an important lesson, which is that Kevin McCarthy is a fucking loser and nobody in the entire world wants to grow up to be like him. Look, kids. That's what happens when you grow up to be Kevin McCarthy. Friends don't let friends be Kevin McCarthy.

On TV, Democratic pundits made fun of Republicans, saying things like, "You're supposed to throw the grenade after you pull the pin. They pulled the pin and passed the grenade around!" (That was James Carville.)

Again, we don't know what's going to happen today. Whatever pizza conversations McCarthy had in the speaker's office he's squatting in last night, Donald Trump did wake up this morning and start bullying the "Never Kevin" (LOL) reps from his fake Twitter account. Not one of those 20 or so reps has a brain of their own, so we'll see how quickly they all start slobbing Trump's knob and obeying his every command.

Or maybe they won't, because Kevin McCarthy is just that much of a rejected loser. Consider what's reportedly happening when Trump calls people, according to Tara Palmeri:  

I’m told from sources close to him that he’s been burning up the phone for McCarthy, but his pleas don’t seem to be making any impact. Even Trump loyalistMatt Gaetzhasn’t been moved. Instead, I’m told, the recipients of Trump’s calls have rebutted his request to support Kevin with relentless flirtation and flattery, Trump’s ultimate love language, such as suggesting that he should be speaker. Naturally, this deactivated and neutralized the ‘24 presidential candidate.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Guess we'll just have to stay tuned for whatever failure presents itself today. (Join us again at noon for blog!) But whatever happens, Democrats will again have fun watching and waiting for the Republican "winners" to compose themselves and get their shit together.

Bless their hearts.

[ Puck ]

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