Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we take a wire brush to our open browser tabs and bring you the stories that are too stoopid to ignore, but not quite worth a full post on their own.
I'd go with 120 tons of sloppily-stored ammonium nitrate. Right behind a roadside fireworks store. Bonus: you don't even have to violate any Texas laws.
A confessed 90 yr-old wrote a letter of complaint to our local fishwrap because of "!$%^&!" Not the word, but the actual symbols, 'cuz "We all know what they REALLY mean." Wish I was making this up.
<i>A smartphone app that helps you stop women from having &lsquo;bortions by praying for them.</i>
Is that for when <a href="http:\/\/wonkette.pressflex.net\/\?tab=link&amp\;id=10145#idc-container" target="_blank">this app</a> fails? Or for when it succeeds?
<i>With some dank, dank here and some skank, skank there. Here some grass, there some ass, Everywhere some doobs &amp; boobs. Senator Farnsworth had some neighbors, E...I...E...I...O...</i>
I&#039;d go with 120 tons of sloppily-stored ammonium nitrate. Right behind a roadside fireworks store. Bonus: you don&#039;t even have to violate any Texas laws.
aot,k
&quot;Freshen Up Yourself&quot; is now playing with a steady reggae beat in my head.
&quot;Expect Goats&quot; could become a meme all by itsownself.
A confessed 90 yr-old wrote a letter of complaint to our local fishwrap because of &quot;!$%^&amp;!&quot; Not the word, but the actual symbols, &#039;cuz &quot;We all know what they REALLY mean.&quot; Wish I was making this up.
Nobody else gonna say it? Okay.
I don&#039;t know about Subway, but I&#039;d let Michele make me sammiches. Sweet soul-food sammiches, all night long.
<i>A smartphone app that helps you stop women from having &lsquo;bortions by praying for them.</i>
Is that for when <a href="http:\/\/wonkette.pressflex.net\/\?tab=link&amp\;id=10145#idc-container" target="_blank">this app</a> fails? Or for when it succeeds?
When chickens are outlawed, only Justin Bieber will be able to egg his neighbor&#039;s house.
Yeah, but I bet Barry gives her a footlong.
(sorry)
If you are the male Attorney General of a huge state you should perhaps really really stay the fuck out of it. Today, for instance.
So, no cocks, eh?
(sorry)
School lunches were lovable before Those People seized power.
<i>With some dank, dank here and some skank, skank there. Here some grass, there some ass, Everywhere some doobs &amp; boobs. Senator Farnsworth had some neighbors, E...I...E...I...O...</i>
i notice that the Arizona bill allows municipalities to ban roosters. Don&#039;t want those Messicans and their fighting cocks, do we?
<i>&ldquo;I Reject Michelle Obama &amp; Subway&rdquo;</i>
Healthy=Satanism plus 10
That Facebook page could be greatly improved with the presence of a few goats. Just a suggestion.