Happy Saturday, Wonquistadores! Every week, our web browsers overflow with a fetid slop of stories that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite worth full posts of their own. Then we mop up the mess and wring out the smelly excess into a big old bucket we call the Derp Roundup. Add grain alcohol, stir, and enjoy!
As an official spokesperson of The Left, I am pleased to post here an excerpt from the minutes of our last quarterly meeting.
"Chair recognized the representative of the Southwest Sector, Subcommittee on the Overthrowing of Values.
SSSOV representative reported that morals have declined in Utah from a benchmark of 46% per capita at the beginning of FY13 to 44.2% in the last quarter, with divorce, spousal abuse, child abandonment, and stealing steaks from supermarkets leading the trend. Figures for small-scale entrepreneurial meth labs held steady, while snooping on neighbors, maxing out the credit card, hanging up on in-laws, and posting selfies saw a fractional increase, seasonally adjusted. On the downside, no increase in bestiality or incest could be detected. An SSSOV pilot project to boost pedophilia statistics was a notable failure, as the modest measurable increase seems to correlate entirely to megachurches in Colorado and Utah. The SSSOV proposes to repurpose its pedophilia budget in the final quarter to a research project studying the methods of oppressive normative culture within such institutions with a view to imitating their success.
Chair thanked the SSSOV for its continued dedication in the face of aggressive and highly effective competition from The Right."
What is it about men and unfinished TP rolls? Like, seriously, is it y-chromosome linked?
"This one time at dogsled camp....."
Yartttikwym
That sounds like witch talk.
sounds like a Percy Sledge song...
that's what happens if you use too much Miracle Gro on your Mistletoe
most everything I've tried from Wasatch has been quite tasty
just use lots of lube and you'll be fine
funny thing- whenever the wingnuts start babbling about Raul Castro my first thought is Da Guv.
I am in awe of how full of crap she is.
Jesus to Megyn: "Do I amuse you? Do you think I'm funny?"
When Johnny Carson's jokes bombed, he owned it, by God.
The Christmas season sure does get everyone all riled up.
As an official spokesperson of The Left, I am pleased to post here an excerpt from the minutes of our last quarterly meeting.
"Chair recognized the representative of the Southwest Sector, Subcommittee on the Overthrowing of Values.
SSSOV representative reported that morals have declined in Utah from a benchmark of 46% per capita at the beginning of FY13 to 44.2% in the last quarter, with divorce, spousal abuse, child abandonment, and stealing steaks from supermarkets leading the trend. Figures for small-scale entrepreneurial meth labs held steady, while snooping on neighbors, maxing out the credit card, hanging up on in-laws, and posting selfies saw a fractional increase, seasonally adjusted. On the downside, no increase in bestiality or incest could be detected. An SSSOV pilot project to boost pedophilia statistics was a notable failure, as the modest measurable increase seems to correlate entirely to megachurches in Colorado and Utah. The SSSOV proposes to repurpose its pedophilia budget in the final quarter to a research project studying the methods of oppressive normative culture within such institutions with a view to imitating their success.
Chair thanked the SSSOV for its continued dedication in the face of aggressive and highly effective competition from The Right."
<i>Against the rules punishable by 10hrs of confinement listening to loud polka</i>
Yinz is gunna regret writing that!
Cory Booker: Great Senate Presiding Officer or Greatest Senate Presiding Officer? Discuss.