Did Hunter Biden's Laptop Snort Cocaine At The White House? James Comer Is Just Asking!
Oh, you thought he went to Washington to actually govern? Silly you!
Last weekend, the Secret Service found cocaine in a visitor area of the White House, and Jamie Comer will sniff out the culprit if he has to stick his nose in every corner of the building. He's not above engaging in a thorough search of the Secret Service's underpants, if it comes down to it, so don't tempt him.
On Sunday, the White House campus was briefly evacuated after the bag of drugs was detected in an area where visitors commonly leave their cellphones. And this morning Comer, the House Oversight Committee chair, sent a letter to Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheatle demanding to know "whose failures" led to this "unacceptable and a shameful moment in the White House’s history."
"This incident has raised additional concerns with the Committee regarding the level of security maintained at the White House," he snuffled, no doubt grateful for the distraction from his series of spectacular face plants in an effort to make it seem like President Joe Biden participated in an influence peddling scheme with his son Hunter.
The letter echoes concern trolling by Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton, who sent his own letter to Cheatle Wednesday tut-tutting that "If the White House complex is not secure, Congress needs to know the details, as well as your plan to correct any security flaws." Because a baggie of drugs is somehow a national security threat, unlike former presidents storing hundreds of classified documents in the private club staffed by foreign nationals and open to anyone willing to pay the admission fee.
But no one has ever accused Republicans of acting in good faith, particularly when there's cheap political points to be scored using their taxpayer funded staffs to harass the White House. So the Gippers have passed a happy week celebrating America's birthday by pretending that the drugs belong to "Sleepy" Joe Biden and/or his kid, who maybe lives in the White House. Who can say?
Noted RINO Kayleigh McEnany threw cold water on this theory, telling Fox News viewers that the drugs were discovered in an entrance for guests of staff. She insists that a Secret Service agent supervises the area and would have discovered the drugs "within minutes." But Federalist editor Mollie Hemingway has a different hypothesis — or her "friends" do, anyway.
"Surprising number of my friends are hypothesizing that the cocaine is not Hunter or Joe's — but Jill's," she tweeted . "I'm intrigued by how strongly some of my friends think this. I just don't see it."
NBC reports that the baggie is being tested for fingerprints or DNA, but an unnamed official cautions Politico that the owner may well never be caught.
“Even if there were surveillance cameras, unless you were waving it around, it may not have been caught” on camera, the source told Politico. “It’s a bit of a thoroughfare. People walk by there all the time.”
Naturally Mollie's pals at (Who Funds) The Federalist snort that this caution is further proof that the White House doesn't really want to find the culprit.
"If the cocaine caper truly was a security breach that law enforcement officials couldn’t catch at security checkpoints or on cameras, the White House cannot, in good conscience, claim that the first family is safe in the executive mansion," they intone breathlessly (and perhaps hopefully as well).
This is marginally less batshit than Donald Trump's suggestion on Truth Social that the "COCAINE" belonged to "Deranged Jack Smith, the crazy, Trump hating Special Prosecutor" because "He looks like a crackhead to me!"
Meanwhile in unrelated news ...
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In summary and in conclusion SNIFFFFFFFFFFFF.
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