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Dior Has The $230 Baby Perfume Your Stinky Child Has Been Waiting For
The sweet, sweet smell of class war.
People always say they love the smell of baby’s heads … but just imagine how much better that baby’s head could smell? Well, with just a dash of Dior’s new baby perfume, for the low, low price of 230 American dollars, you could find out.
In case you were wondering “Is this even a normal price for regular Dior perfume, for adults?” The answer is “Not entirely!” The largest bottle of Miss Dior is gonna run you $200 at Sephora, but the Sauvage eau de parfum is $270. That being said, this is a perfume. For a baby.
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The Baby Dior line for bathtime use consists of the La Mousse Très Fondante foaming cleanser for the hair, face and body ($95 USD); another cleanser called the L’Eau Très Fraîche for the sensitive baby ($95 USD) and the Le Lait Très Tendre moisturizing hydration milk ($115 USD).
It all comes accompanied by Bonne Étoile, a $230 USD “scented water” designed to essentially act as a perfume for infants. Created by Dior’s Perfume Director Francis Kurkdjian, the blend was formulated without alcohol and contains hints of pear, wild rose and white musks.
To what end? Is your baby smoking? Do they perhaps just need a diaper change? I feel like in order to justify these purchases you’d have to walk around asking strangers to smell your fancy baby all day, and that seems like a lot of work. Work that could very well start a class war.
Now, I admit — I am fully bougie when it comes to fragrances (currently living for Gold from Commodity), but not one of my perfumes cost $230. Not one! That is a lot for a baby perfume, for a baby. All of the other baby perfumes out there (there are many, it turns out) are under $30, which I guess isn’t a huge investment when your infant is out here smoking a pack a day.
What I really want now is a shot for shot remake of the classic Charlize Theron J’Adore commercial, except they’re all creepy CGI babies.
Of course, for much less money, you, yourself can smell like a baby (though not a fancy Dior baby), because Demeter perfumes — the ones we all used to get in high school that smell like kitten fur, dirt, paperback books, gin and tonics, etc. etc. — actually has a New Baby smell perfume for like 30 bucks. It’s like New Car Smell, but instead of a car, you smell like a baby.
I mean, I don’t really know why someone would want to smell like a baby unless they had one of those adult baby fetishes, but it’s still less weird than $230 baby perfume.