Hey kids, it's Hillary Clinton's Big Night, and no matter what happens, we can guaran-damn-tee we'll end the evening feeling a hell of a lot better about the world than we felt a week ago when Donald Trump laid out his vision of America as a post-apocalyptic hellscape, only without even the cheerful prospect of Mad Max and his doggie. We are on the threshold of history, the doorway to the future, the cusp of greatness, and the edge of wetness. You may have noticed that Yr Editrix is still missing in the Wilds of Montana, because Real Estate Is STUPID. She will share her Kafkaesque adventures with trying to close on her house someday soon, we imagine, as a parable of why no one in the Real Estate Industry should be allowed anywhere near the Oval Office.