Do Not Disturb The Reindeer: Tabs, Mon. April 28, 2025
Morning news roundup and things to read!
How was your weekend?
Dear Leader went to the Pope’s funeral, wore a blue suit instead of black, chewed gum, scrolled on his phone, fell asleep, and got called out by Cardinal Giovanni Battista Re in his homily: “Pope Francis incessantly raised his voice, imploring peace and calling for reason and honest negotiation to find possible solutions ... ‘Build bridges, not walls,’ was an exhortation he repeated many times.” And then Dear Leader met with Ukrainian President Zelenskyy, and came home and wrote on his failing web platform that Putin’s continued attacks on Ukraine “makes me think that maybe he doesn't want to stop the war, he's just tapping me along.” LOL, ya think? (The Daily Beast / BBC)
The charging document was released for Wisconsin Judge Hannah Dugan, arrested on Friday and charged with two felonies for allegedly helping Mexican Eduardo Flores-Ruiz evade arrest. By releasing him into a public hallway, where he walked past two DEA agents in said hallway, and then rode an elevator with another DEA agent. Also ICE had an administrative warrant, not a judicial one, meaning the judge was under no obligation to help those dickidiots arrest him in her courtroom. Intimidation is the point. (Complaint / Empty Wheel)
Hakeem Jeffries and Cory Booker led a sit-in that lasted more than 12 hours on the steps of the Capitol to protest the Republican budget proposal, which would cut $9 billion in previously approved funding so millionaires and billionaires can get more tax cuts. (Guardian)
The DOJ is threatening Wikipedia with loss of its nonprofit status for “propaganda.” And has released a memo repealing protections for journalist-source confidentiality. (Gizmodo / Freedom of the Press Foundation )
The Atlantic reports that That Man’s administration first sought to bring Kilmar Abrego Garcia back, but then changed their minds and decided to turn “an admission of bureaucratic error into a political opportunity” instead. (The Atlantic)
Defense department staffers have been reportedly calling Pete Hegseth’s wife “Yoko Ono.” (The Daily Mail)
The Department of Health and Human Services has reversed itself and decided to fund the Women’s Health Initiative study after all, so yay? (NPR)
The Loudoun County, Virginia, schools Superintendent has refused to sign off on forms that require schools to eliminate “illegal” DEI curriculum or risk losing federal funding. Brave! And New Jersey became the 16th state to refuse to sign a letter affirming that they won’t do DEI. (WTOP / North Jersey)
Not brave! Indiana lawmakers have given themselves total control over the state’s universities. (IndyStar)
The administration has deported (at least) three more children who are US citizens, including another child who has cancer. Also ICE tased a man in Providence, sending him to the hospital, and reportedly would not let him talk to a lawyer; city councilperson Justin Roias claimed on Xitter that he has a “pregnant U.S. citizen wife & a green card interview that same day.” Cruelty is the point. (Rolling Stone / Boston Globe)
The economy is Wile E. Coyote after he runs off a cliff right now: shipping volumes have plummeted, and truckers are being warned not to take loads to Los Angeles because they’ll have to “deadhead” back with empty trucks, which trucking companies don’t always pay drivers for. (Fortune)
Why was the son of the deputy CIA director Juliane Gallina fighting for Russia? (Guardian)
That Man has pardoned Paul Walczak, whose mother and sister helped pass along Ashley Biden’s alleged diary to Project Veritas. Also Michele Fiore, a wingnut former Nevada state assemblywoman, Las Vegas city councilwoman and judge with no law degree who stole money meant for a statue honoring a slain police officer to use for her plastic surgery and her daughter’s wedding. (NY Times / AP)
Headline: “Mark Zuckerberg wanted to fly his helicopter from his gigantic superyacht to go skiing on Swedish mountains and offered villagers tens of thousands, but they flat out refused, saying the noisy chopper would disturb their reindeer.” Meanwhile FTC v. Meta continues, is expected to last two months, geez. (Luxury Launches / The Verge)
A group called Eugene-X in DC set up a booth where you can sign up to have Elon’s next kid, and if you go to their website and click a button that says you're interested in setting up Musk's biological franchises you get a pop-up that says, "Ew, gross why would anyone want to have Elon's babies!"(Reddit)
For shame, Paramount!
Well most of that was terrible, if you made it this far, why not enjoy the Postmodern Jukebox version of “Stacy’s Mom”?
Thank you for being our friend and keeping us living forever! The button below will let you donate one time or monthly, in any amount of your choosing.
This is the button for giving us money with Venmo. It’s venmorrific!





Your hed gif source info: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/cantankerous-crane
And meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/08ea1a26-509e-4a67-b160-69a0a8ffbff4?utm_source=share
Monday Bear.
https://substack.com/@ziggywiggy/note/c-112709858?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=2knfuc