201 Comments
User's avatar
Spleen Victoria's avatar

Greene is likely a front runner both because of the slobbering loyalty and the hair. What is wrong with these women that they don’t register the blonde! It needs to be long and blonde, she needs big honkers and she needs to be thin, wear heels and dresses, and be a sycophant.

Lake? Short dark hair.

Mace? Long dark hair.

Stefanuk? Long dark hair.

Blondify yourself, up the cup to a DD, and then there’ll be a chance. Mace has the boobs and the sycophant act down and she looks a little like an older Allison Williams. Dye your hair babe! You’re so close!

Expand full comment
Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

I still think PAB won’t be able to force himself to pick a woman as a running mate. Despite the politics, he just hates us too much. And he’ll enjoy defying advice to appeal to women.

Expand full comment
Robert Eckert's avatar

He could pick Kitara Ravache

Expand full comment
Dorothea is a Democrat's avatar

"It's not a prize, it's a cursed locket." FTW, Stephen.

Expand full comment
Enbastet's avatar

"He most likely will pick someone with a cult-like devotion to him (Greene) or someone without the smallest glimmer of a conscience (Stefanik). "

Nyet.

Greene is too nakedly out for herself and Stefanik is a dumpy Dress Barn model from 1992.

It will be someone who has shown abject loyalty and looks made for TV. So far, that's Kari Lake, who actually comes from TV, vaccuumed for him in a sheath dress and spike heels, and has actually sung directly from his sheet music with her own election denialsim and lawsuits.

Only Noem maight have been a player but she damaged herself with her adultery - The Donald doesn't do sloppy seconds to Corey Lewandowski.

Anyhoo, Mace may think that she was playing 5-D chess by voting to open a slot for Jordan, who is Trump's fave, so she could then stand by Jimmy's side as The Face of Republican Women, but Trump doesn't play chess - he just knocks over the board...

Expand full comment
Marla's avatar

Stefanik also has that gaping wound in the middle of her face. Pity, that.

Expand full comment
Gary Seven in Space's avatar

Republican strategist Ron Bonjean suggested

He also works at Yoyodyne with John Bigboottie...

Expand full comment
OrdinaryJoe's avatar

nAncy mAce. Just another Rethug A-hole.

Expand full comment
LunaMoonstone's avatar

“Considering how eager Satan probably is for Trump’s soul…”

I would say it’s less eagerness and more resignation if I’m honest…

Expand full comment
Bitter Scribe's avatar

𝘏𝘦’𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 “𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘻𝘺” 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 “𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦’𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨.” 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘔𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘢 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘵.

You mean there's room for only one crazy, terrible person who has no idea what he's doing on the ticket at a time? Who knew.

Expand full comment
Whale Chowder's avatar

I'll say it here...Gym Jordan will be PAB's VP pick for 24.

[sits back, crosses arms]

Expand full comment
Pexas Teat's avatar

It's a logical choice, actually. Gym is adept at ignoring sexual assaults happening right in front of him.

Expand full comment
Lefty Wright's avatar

I found it interesting that Mace tried to claim she wore that A shirt because people were criticizing her because she was a woman. No, they are criticizing you because you are supporting fascists. And in your case the A apparently stands for Asshole, which can apply equally to men and women as numerous Republican women have demonstrated over the past 40 years.

Expand full comment
Charles  Schlotter's avatar

In a no-surprise move, Mace is now wearing a t-shirt with a large red "H," which she explains stands for "Havisham."

Expand full comment
Charles  Schlotter's avatar

If the question is "Do I love Nancy Mace enough to dash her dreams or even buy her an ice cream sundae?" the answer is a hard "Nope."

Expand full comment
Barney Rubble's avatar

My favorite Nancy Mace story is the one where she told the NATIONAL PRAYER BREAKFAST that she was late because her boyfriend, who she is NOT married to, REALLY wanted some extra-marital fooking that day.

Read the room, Nancy.

Expand full comment
UnionThuggery's avatar

I like that she did that. It would have only been better if she was late because she was getting banged in the coat closet at the prayer breakfast.

Expand full comment
Whale Chowder's avatar

...by the minister who did the convocation.

Expand full comment
SunMoonStars's avatar

So that's who that was that did that stupid thing. It's all so enmeshed I can't keep up with what every stupid R does by the minute and they do their shit by the minute of every day.

Expand full comment
Stephen St John's avatar

It's like trying to keep up with Trump's trials.

Expand full comment
Lascauxcaveman's avatar

She did. It was a room full of horny old white guys who want some of that.

Expand full comment
Antifa Commander's avatar

The National Prayer Fuckfest.

Expand full comment
Whale Chowder's avatar

It's a lemon party!

Expand full comment
Barney Rubble's avatar

That's a different event, invite only.

Expand full comment
Rhand Holm's avatar

The lawn of Merde-A-Lardo is littered with the political careers of VP wannabes. They had to put up those yellow signs warning "precaución almas perdidas"

Expand full comment
Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Would the drooling MAGA chuds like Mace because she is an attractive woman? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Expand full comment
counterlife's avatar

"like Mace because she is an attractive woman"

She would make an attractive mannequin - one that never speaks.

Since she does speak and behave in various crazed and fascist curious ways she is not an "attractive woman". I know, the only measure of a woman's attractiveness is if men want to fuck her. But in a better world it would be different. Like so many things.

Expand full comment
Satanic Pancake's avatar

Point of order: Trump's soul is so worn and threadbare that it makes pudding film seem strong in comparison. There's nobody at this point that wants anything to do with that flimsy accursed object.

As for Mace, does Donald "I like to admit to sexual assault on TV because it makes me look cool!" Fucking "Hey, I have a UV light up my ass, and it feels GOOOOOOD" Trump seem like the type of man who would consider a woman to be smart enough or good enough to be his running mate? While he probably won't go with another gelded tackling dummy as his VP, it seems highly unlikely that he'd choose a woman either. If for nothing else, because at 35 or older, she'd be too old for the one purpose he finds women useful for.

Expand full comment