Discover more from Wonkette
How Does New Hampshire GOP Senate Idiot Don Bolduc Know You're Not Using A Litterbox RIGHT NOW?
PROVE IT! HE'S NOT BACKIN' DOWN!
These dumbass Republicans, when people start making fun of them for making up shit about kids becoming furries and demanding to use litterboxes at school, hoo boy do they get mad.
Don Bolduc, he is the very dumbstupid MAGA idiot running to be the Republican senator from New Hampshire. There are polls that show him frighteningly close to incumbent Democratic Senator Maggie Hassan. Which is appalling, because just this past week Bolduc fell for the litterbox hoax, easily the stupidest and most obvious hoax in the history of all humankind. (Joe Rogan just today admitted he was duped by it. Bless his heart.)
Oh, he was indignant. As all moron Republicans do, he claimed he had been personally hearing from parents, who have been telling him tales of children becoming furries at school and using litterboxes. He said there were also "fuzzies," so this telephone game Republicans are playing with each other is getting, um, fuzzier.
He said kids are "MEOWING DURING TESTS!"
He said they lick themselves.
He said they hissssssss .
He said he wished he was making it up. : (
Oh God, he was mad. And he named a school called Pinkerton Academy in Derry, New Hampshire, which then had to — as all schools must do now, we suppose — release a statement saying that no, the children there are not using litterboxes.
NBC News asked Bolduc about it, and good lord did he get his back up. (Like cat! Maybe he is the REAL FURRY, SEE ABOVE, MUST CREDIT WONKETTE.)
He is STICKIN' TO HIS STORY!
“NEW: Don Bolduc- only to @NBCNews says the school he accused of using litter boxes for children who identify as animals needs to "prove" the claim wrong. He tells me a parent and a student told him it was happening and he is "not backing down."”
— Ryan Nobles (@Ryan Nobles) 1667394997
In the clip above, Bolduc first says that he DID NOT say kids are using litterboxes at school. ( He absolutely did. ) But he immediately added that he'd had a parent AND a student who "came up to me and told me all about it." He said he's "had that all across the state." Just parents and kids coming up to him at every event and telling him their stories of elementary school litterboxes and the furries who use them.
"Craziness is going on in our schools. Senator Hassan is responsible for it," he said.
Then after some yapping about kids not being prepared, the journalist clarified that Bolduc's story is that a parent and a student told him litterbox horror stories, and told Bolduc the school he named had denied it. Which led Bolduc into this babbling rant:
"Well, you know, they came out and said they didn't mask children! They came out and said they didn't do a lot of things! They don't teach CRT, which they do! They don't teach transgender, which they do!
"I'M NOT BACKIN' DOWN! OK? YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY!
"Just because they say it, they need to prove it! Prove it! I've got parents and kids telling me, they need to prove it to us, I don't need to prove it to them."
Wow, so he's not only smart, he's also emotionally stable. Big temper tantrum for a real big man there, buddy! YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY! HE AIN'T BACKIN' DOWN! (From his hallucinations about kids identifying as cats and using litterboxes.)
Y'all know this guy was an Army brigadier general? We are sure he joined up for the right reasons.
It's unclear how Bolduc would suggest schools "prove" to him that kids are not using litterboxes, but we are guessing it could get real stranger danger real fast.
PROVE IT! DON BOLDUC AIN'T BACKIN' DOWN! PROVE YOU'RE DOIN' YOUR BUSINESS IN THE REGULAR BATHROOM AND NOT IN THE LITTERBOX!
The last three polls say this imbecile and Maggie Hassan are neck-and-neck. We've accepted that tens of millions of American voters are incredibly stupid people. We have to outvote them, this time and for the rest of time. Every election is the most important election of our lives.
MEOW OPEN THREAD.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here!
Have you heard that Wonkette DOES NOT EXIST without your donations? Please hear it now, and if you have ever enjoyed a Wonkette article, throw us some bucks, or better yet, SUBSCRIBE!