Don't Worry About A Thing!
Every little thing gonna be all right!
My beloved terrible ones, I have scared you and me, as well as being confusing (as usual) and kind of rude to our upcoming hosts? What is wrong with me, why am I like that! But your comrade Carrie writes in, and I am just going to blockquote her whole deal, to soothe all of our savage breasts.
She even bullet-pointed for you, like a common Axios! What up Carrie?
I could not be more OVER THE MOON that you are moving to Substack and saving a huge chunk of change and will not have to deal with any more hideous ghosting webdevs! I will subscribe tout de suite as an annual paid subscriber there and am sending you a housewarming check today just because.
Why am I thrilled?
Increased engagement for Wonkette (no need for a separate Disqus signup to comment on a story, and engagement keeps Wonkette in readers' hearts)
A load of tools for guiding new subscribers over your way (e.g., Notes, which is new but I think will eventually be a great promo tool)
Substacks may be suppressed on Twitter, but cross-posting a Substack on some of the alternative socials could bring new subscribers your way and for Substack addicts like myself, that is clickbait
Wonkette's comments on any other Substack that aligns with Wonkette's sensibility (Jeff Teidrich for starters, who I found commenting on E Jean's Substack, and I'm now a paid subscriber) could drive new subscribers: if people love your writing like I do, they'll subscribe to you, for free at first
Alright, I project, but I read Substacks for a couple of months for free (to see frequency of posting and if content is compelling) and then the "annoying" Subscribe button (which never does annoy me, and will not annoy you when you receive a ton of new paid subscribers) makes me think, hmm, I'm getting a lot of my fave content here, think I'll sign up for the approximate cost of 1 (one) grande latte a month
No reason you shouldn't be raking in the $millions like Heather Cox Richardson
Losing my parallel construction, here, but you get the gist
Newsletters? I suppress emails by account. I have only a couple turned on. Yours would be one.
Don't be scared. This is going to be such a good thing for Wonkette! I'm so happy!
xo
Carrie
And that's what Carrie has to say about that!
In the meantime, let's make a new FAQ!
A New FAQ
What is happening, when is it happening, where do I go, what do I do?
Probably next weekend! We are moving to Substack! But we're not actually going anywhere! You'll still come as always to Wonkette.com! (You can also visit wonkette.substack.com; if you go there now, there will be a bare-bones nothing of a "coming soon" post and also a "chat" where people are busy figuring out how to post pictures. That "chat" function will probably be what we use for our comments on the open thread type posts: Tabs, end of day, Top 10, cocktail, etc. There will be a handy button for you to click to see it. You won't be able to miss it, it will say "chat.")
I give Wonkette money already! Do I need to cancel it and start new at Substack?
No! Do not cancel your current donation! Let it ride baby! I swear!
I do not give Wonkette money. Is that okay?
It is always okay to not give Wonkette money. But if you can afford it, and you appreciate having us here, alive, on the internet, you should. Mama living on credit cards again (and opening up new ones for "balance transfer") rather than not paying the bills or the writers like a common Trump. Oooof.
How are we going to comment?
If you pay a monthly Wonkette donation through Stripe, I've already imported you to Substack, which uses Stripe. When you go to sign up to comment, it will already recognize you. I intend to import the Paypal donors and the Patreon donors as well this week, once I can figure out the export function. All that means is it will recognize your email when you sign up to comment. You can sign up now to comment as well, just choose the "free subscription" if you're already giving us money, or a "paid subscription" if you're not already giving us money and you would like to!IMPORTANT: There will be no paywall, and no paid-subscriber-only stories. Wonkette will always be free.
Why are you so in love with this "money"?
I know. Fuck! A few years ago I decided to just let her rip: Hire all the greatest writers and the universe would provide! And the universe did provide! But the universe is providing less now than it did during the nonstop bombardment of horrors of the Trump years; I guess the universe figures we need less money to compensate for the fact that our hair is no longer falling out in clumps. Which is a reasonable trade-off! Except like I said above: Shuffling new credit cards to pay for our shit is a bummer. So if you can help, and you're not already, that'd be great. We've got a large city of readers (644,000 last month, pretty typical) and small rural town of donors (about 4000 every month), and with a large city of readers I should be able to pay our writers and me.
In the meantime, here's our donation widget again, if'n it strikes your fancy. We love you!