339 Comments

"-and I mean in some cases desperately be there".

I think bigly more people were desperately seeking Susan than a Trump coronafest.

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"They said, "Sir, we can make this work very easily."

We know he's lying when he addresses himself as Sir in a sentence.

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Or "Raiders of the Lost Ark".

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There's no way Trump was the one that decided to cancel the convention. He always takes credit for anything good.

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Captain Carnage has sad thoughts about cancelling his emotional support convention.

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Shape-shifting is easy when you remove your girdle.

https://uploads.disquscdn.c...

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He was very low-energy during that presser, but he was rocking the Richie Rich hairdo!

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You misspelled Franzia.

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He's a former personality, according to Spy Magazine.

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I don't understand why they went from South Carolina to Florida. Why not have it in the middle of Wyoming?

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pretty sure he's not busy

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"but sir, what are we going to do with all the money we raised to pay for the convention? I guess you'll just have to put it in your bank account for now to keep an eye on it"

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(mic drop)

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