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Claire Carton's avatar

This is going to sound weird, but I look at that Conway lady and I can practically smell the dead, air conditioned air of her empty, expensive condominium. Her stainless steel, drawer-and-doors refrigerator contains only small tubs of activa, a half drunk bottle of flavored fizzy water, and the remains of a lunch salad in a plastic takeaway container. On the advice of her decorator, she purchased three yards of books for the built in shelves around the miniature fireplace. Sometimes she considers getting a cat, but she's afraid she would kill it either mistakenly (off on a long business trip) or intentionally on one of the two nights a year she drinks alcohol, blacks out, and wonders why she's covered in seaweed. She buys herself jewelry and has the store deliver it, gift wrapped. Her mother is a harridan who doesn't understand the demands of her career. And she secretly masturbates to bootleg grainy video of Kim Jong Un.

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Claire Carton's avatar

She's a WOMAN, of course she's gonna take the fall. Why else would you hire one?

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