Don't Get Stoned And Try To Operate A Rowboat, Okay?

Or do that, we are not the boss of you.

Nyla and Ebony from Wonkette operatives, Zyxomma and Meccalopolis

Happy weekend!

This week, your present is Stoned, an Afterschool Special starring Scott Baio as a real square student who gets involved with a bad crowd and starts smoking pot — which ultimately renders him tragically unable to operate a rowboat. Because sure, that’s a thing.

Alas, pot is not known to turn anyone into a MAGA jackass who goes around whining that he’s not a big star anymore because he’s not a liberal, even though no one even knew what his politics were before 2016 — well after his peak Teen Dream and even VH1 Celebreality years. So that’s all natural.

Admittedly this was my second choice, as what I really wanted was this very intriguing-sounding Afterschool Special called Horrible Honchos, starring Kim Richards and the brother from Just One Of The Guys, about some neighborhood pact to terrorize a new kid — but for some reason the whole thing is orange and seemed like it might give people migraines. I will give you this Kim Richards instead.

Ok, and this one.

And also this one.

Because better we should all be we doing crystal meth in the bathroom all night than smoking pot in a rowboat … I guess?

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