Duke Cunningham Barely Even Had Sex With His Prostitutes

Duke Cunningham is snitching to the FBI in prison, which is bad news for Brent Wilkes. Cunningham: former congressman currently serving time for bribery and corruption and being a stupid jerk. Wilkes: Duke's former best-bud contractor, currently facing two indictments and 30 counts of all sorts of misbehavior. Thankfully, Duke does not shy away from the aspects of his case that have always been of the utmost importance to Wonkette readers.

Insisted there were no prostitutes at Wilkes' Washington poker games, but said Wilkes hired prostitutes for him during a Hawaii vacation. Cunningham was miffed that Wilkes got the "younger and cuter" prostitute and said he was "somewhat embarrassed on this occasion because he had some difficulty in completing intercourse." On the next night, Cunningham again had a prostitute but said he "did not have sex" with her "because he felt guilty about his behavior."

Poor, poor Duke. Unable even to enjoy his hookers due to guilt. We're sure he could also barely get his BMW started, and didn't even really enjoy his yacht trips. His illegal Glock was barely ever even fired!

Or maybe Duke didn't enjoy his hookers because they had vaginas. 

 Imprisoned Cunningham outlines depths of corruption to FBI [SignOnSanDiego]