540 Comments
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Tessie's avatar

I'd be amazed if he even COULD poop, given where that poker is rammed.

Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Gary. Biden gave a great speech. Mikey No Likey looked like a toddler who needs to pee. Now.

plecop's avatar

Wish you had included a shot from the beginning, when Biden launched into his speech without the customary introduction by the Speaker. Johnson’s expression was “Mommy, I was told I could speak in front of the grownups “. Priceless!

Thomas Spence's avatar

I think he was getting notifications from his kid, over Johnson-Link ™.

3FingerPete's avatar

Johnson remained mostly in his seat to maintain the illusion that he is tall.

William Donnell's avatar

Johnson remained mostly in his pants, despite Boebert's driveby with a friend and a vicious penalty kick from Madge Taint Grün that overloaded his boner app.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Rumor has it that Clarence Thomas is always photographed seated because he's embarrassed by how short he is.

That amuses me.

House of the Blue Lights's avatar

Finally, there is no example of Mike Johnson's o-face, because Mike Johnson has never had one.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Even his wet dreams are dry.

Will's avatar

He's musing. If you fart during SOTU and no one smells it is actually smelly?

Yes, Skippy, it is smelly.

SterWonk's avatar

> And yet weirdly, Johnson still doesn’t suck as badly as his predecessor, Kevin McCarthy.

That's an interesting topic of discussion! On the one hand, if McCarthy hadn't gone to Mar-a-Lago and given TFG a tongue-bath -- and thus given rank-and-file GOP Congresspeople permission to re-fly their MAGA flags -- TFG might have lost his support in Congress. On the other hand, Johnson was one of the architects of the lawyerly efforts to pull off the coup.

SterWonk's avatar

> Biden promised to restore reproductive freedom to America’s tiny, minuscule, hardly-that-important female population

From several years ago, Chris Hardwick on Women's History Month: "Why not dedicate one-twelveth of the year to celebrating one-half of the population? That math checks out; trust me, I'm a man."

Enter Ranting's avatar

Resting pussy-ass-bitch face.

Owlftr13's avatar

This is nonsense!! All these pics of the SOTH are the same. That's the face you make when you fart and then aren't quite sure.

dental floss tycoon's avatar

unsuccessfully choking off farts after a plate of refritos, sauerkraut, & hard boiled eggs 🥚 🥚 …

Lionel “8647” Hutz's avatar

It will be interesting next year to see how Speaker George Santos responds to President Biden's next SOTU.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I imagine Speaker Jeffries will warmly welcome him to the dais.

🕊️ ꕷꖹꕷꗍ ♌'s avatar

Someone here last night said Mike looked like he had swallowed a frog at one point.

Lionel “8647” Hutz's avatar

A fairly large one, I take it.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

The kind that don't take no shit from no one.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

I liked the bit where Biden (who is A Old) eviscerated Marge.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

The best comment I saw was, "She handed him the pin and kept the hand grenade."

Mike Gesing's avatar

His donut pillow wasn't up to the task last night.

Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

He has a hard time hiring good donut pillows. The good ones refuse to work for his ass. This is understandable.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Doesn't he pay his bills either?

Oh, that's right. He doesn't have a bank account, because those are the work of the devil.

David Anderson's avatar

That’s “Mikey” (the little shitass)…