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Edwards HQ Cyber-Vandals: Non-Partisan Pranksters
Despite the tragic whining on John Edwards' blog, it turns out the cyber-virtual computer-world "Second Life" maniacs who let loose a "feces-spewing obscenity" on the handsome candidate's cyber-virtual computer-world "Second Life" pretend campaign headquarters are not lonely Republican cyber activists.
The hit on Edwards' HQ had nothing to do with politics and everything to do with making the intolerable boredom of "Second Life" sort of funny. Webzine 10 Zen Monkeys reveals the gang behind the hit is notorious for pulling dadaist pranks on the nervous cyber-avatars who spend all their time buying virtual penises and having furry conventions and virtual orgies on pretend nude beaches.
Meet the Patriotic Nigras: e-terrorists at large, after the jump.
First, a recap: About a million losers spend all their time pretending to have a "Second Life" inside the Internet. The Second Life is as vapid and banal as the First Life we're forced to endure, with two differences: In Second Life, you can fly and you can buy a massive penis to rub against virtual furries who also bought massive genitalia from a virtual genitalia shop.
Because 2008 is the first presidential election year since America officially gave up even trying, John Edwards is campaigning both in the real world, where he is losing, and in the pretend world, where he is also losing. That's why the Patriotic Nigra E-Terrorists @Large decided to give him the what for! The self-proclaimed "Invasion Group" left this message on Edwards' blog:
"We simply did it for the lulz... The fact you were so bent out of shape to make a blog post on the OFFICIAL JOHN EDWARDS BLOG about how some people placed a bunch of shittingdicknipples on your lawn is mighty telling."
We don't really know what this means, or how you "vandalize" a computer screen in the video game or whatever, but here are some other pranks the E-Terrorists recently pulled off:
* "Blocking the exit doors on a [gay] disco's private rooms, and filling its dance floor with an annoyingly large box."
* "They returned to build a wall with a swastika of American flags, and eventually created a 'Doomsday' weapon that creates endlessly replicating cubes."
* "The group also claims weapons like 'the Dong Popgun' (which fires a barrage of penises), and the 'Cosby Block' (proliferating posters of the Jell-o pudding pops spokesman)."
* "One Second Life blogger accuses the group of distributing the infamous Goatse picture, a tactic confirmed by a Second Life newspaper. And the group's ultimate weapon -- the 'Mario mosh pit' -- even floods an area with images of Nintendo's Mario character."
Okay, they're still terrible nerds. But at least they're funny terrible nerds.
John Edwards' Virtual Attackers Unmasked [10 Zen Monkeys]