Dumb Elizabeth Warren Wants To Drain DC Swamp And Turn It Into A State, How Dumb Is That (It's Not)

If DC becomes a state, won't Marvel demand its two senators?

Elizabeth Warren promised this weekend to make statehood for the District of Columbia one of her top issues in the 2020 campaign, saying in a fundraising message that DC statehood "gets at the heart of our democracy" what with the whole "no taxation without representation" thing.

That's BETTER than mere bumper-sticker politicking. It's actual DC license plate politicking.

Seizing on an issue that Barack Obama never really pushed (to the disappointment of a lot of DC residents), Warren's campaign framed the letter as a direct appeal to residents of the district, although NBC politics reporter Alex Seitz-Wald says the message went out to Warren's full national mailing list. Here's the full text:

This isn't exactly a new issue for Warren, either; she's co-sponsored various DC statehood bills since at least 2014, and is fond of pointing out, as she does in the letter, that the district's 700,000 residents have less say in national government than residents of the two least populous states, Wyoming or Vermont. Beyond that, as DC residents will be happy to lecture you, the District pays more in taxes than 22 states. 

Eleanor Holmes Norton, DC's nonvoting delegate to Congress, has once more introduced a bill for DC statehood in the House, which she's done at the start of every session since forever, but she notes that this time out, she has a record 155 cosponsors, up from 116 in the previous Congress. House Oversight and Reform chair Elijah Cummings has promised a hearing and markup on the bill, too.

Of course, since it would mean two reliably Democratic seats in the Senate plus a full DC vote in the House, expect Republicans to fight DC statehood as if it were a proposal to change the national anthem to "Say It Loud: I'm Black and I'm Proud." The GOP just LOVES its accidental-on-purpose structural advantage in the Senate and the Electoral College. But since admission of new states requires only an act of Congress (subject to a filibuster in the Senate, but no other weird requirements), a really huge Democratic majority in 2020 could make statehood for the district a realistic prospect for the first time in really ever .

Oh, and to allay fears of all the trouble involved in redesigning the flag, we could keep the total of states at 50 simply by supporting those goofballs who want to merge North and South Dakota into "Megakota." To keep Pierre and Bismarck from fighting over which city would be the merged state's capital, we'd place it in San Juan, Puerto Rico.

Why, yes, Warren has also said she'd be open to Puerto Rico statehood if that's what the people of the territory want. Balance that out with Montanayoming, anyone?

At press time, Yr Wonkette assumes Donald Trump has dropped everything so he can work out a super-funny way to link Elizabeth Warren with the name of the Washington NFL franchise, because wouldn't that make for the bestest rightwing joke in history?

[ Alex Seitz-Wald on Twitter]

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