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Elon Musk Begs Elton John To Stay On Twitter, Don't Go Breakin' His Heart
Elton to Elon: I don't wanna go on with you like that.
If you’re a heavy Twitter user, you may have noticed that in recent days much of the site’s energy has revolved around an arrogant bloated narcissist with a conspiratorial right-wing worldview and a deep, desperate thirst for approval from famous people and random wingnuts.
No, Donald Trump hasn’t started tweeting again. (Though he could!) We’re talking about shambling waxworks Elon Musk, who recently bought Twitter and has now become its most active Reply Guy .
Who is he replying to? Oh, Nazis, transphobes, Elton John :
“Elon: "I love your music. Hope you come back. Is there any misinformation in particular that you’re concerned about?"”
— Best of Dying Twiter (@Best of Dying Twiter) 1670610701
Did the world’s richest man galactically overpay for the largest and most widely used social media platform so he could get famous people to talk to him? Signs point to yes!
Poor Elon. Didn’t have friends who would come for sleepovers when he was a kid, so he turned office space at Twitter into bedrooms and is now forcing his peons to do it.
Anyway, since the AI chatbot that did such a great job turning Stephen Miller’s treatment for a Hallmark movie into a script, we had it write a play in which Elon and Elton become the best of buddies. Well, Editrix told us to have the AI chatbot write it, and we’re suckers for easy content:
"The Unlikely Friendship of Elon Musk and Elton John"
Scene 1: A conference room at SpaceX headquarters. Elon Musk is pacing back and forth, deep in thought. His assistant enters the room.
Assistant: Mr. Musk, Elton John is on the phone. He says he's a big fan and would like to talk to you about your work.
Elon: (surprised) Elton John? The musician? What could he possibly want to talk to me about?
Assistant: I don't know, sir. He didn't say.
Elon: (hesitates) Alright, put him through. (picks up phone) Hello, Elton. This is Elon Musk.
Elton: (on the phone) Hi, Elon. I'm such a fan of what you're doing with SpaceX and your plans for colonizing Mars. I think it's incredibly ambitious and exciting.
Elon: (pleasantly surprised) Well, thank you, Elton. I'm a fan of your work too.
Elton: I was wondering if you'd be interested in collaborating on a project together. I have some ideas for a musical about space exploration and I think your expertise could really add to the story.
Elon: (intrigued) That sounds like an interesting idea. I'd be happy to discuss it further.
Scene 2: A recording studio. Elton and Elon are sitting at a table, surrounded by musical instruments and recording equipment.
Elton: So, Elon, I was thinking that the musical could follow the story of a group of astronauts on a mission to Mars. They face all sorts of challenges and obstacles, but ultimately they persevere and succeed in their mission.
Elon: That's a great idea, Elton. I think we could really incorporate some of the scientific and technical aspects of space exploration into the story. It would make the musical not only entertaining, but educational as well.
Elton: Absolutely. And we could also incorporate some of the emotional and psychological challenges that come with being an astronaut. The isolation, the danger, the sacrifice.
Elon: Yes, those are all important aspects of space exploration that people don't often think about.
Elton: So, what do you think? Are you on board with this project?
Elon: (smiling) I think it's a fantastic idea. Let's do it.
Scene 1: A theater. The musical is in its final dress rehearsal. The cast is on stage, rehearsing a scene where the astronauts successfully land on Mars.
Elton: (watching from the wings) Elon, this is amazing. The music, the choreography, the special effects. It's all coming together perfectly.
Elon: (smiling) I couldn't have done it without you, Elton. Your talent and creativity have really brought this story to life.
Elton: And your knowledge and expertise have given the story a level of authenticity that it wouldn't have had otherwise.
Hm, this is less a friendship than a creative partnership. And so many of the great creative partnerships have otherwise barely been able to stand each other. Gilbert and Sullivan actually put each other’s eyes out with knitting needles. True story.
Anyway, we tweaked the prompt a bit to see if we could make Elon and Elton closer than just co-workers. Did we overshoot by instructing the chatbot to write a play in which Elton and Elon fall in love? Probably!
The scene opens on Elon Musk and Elton John sitting across from each other at a small café. They are both staring intently at each other, clearly interested in one another.
Elon: Elton, I have to say, I've been a huge fan of your music for years.
Elton: Oh, thank you, Elon. I must admit, I'm a bit of a space nerd myself. Your work with SpaceX has been absolutely incredible.
Elon: Well, thank you. It's been a passion of mine for a long time.
They continue to talk about their shared interests, and it becomes clear that they have a lot in common. As they get to know each other better, they begin to realize that they have feelings for one another.
Elon and Elton start dating and are incredibly happy together. They are constantly coming up with new ideas and projects to work on together.
However, their relationship is not without its challenges. As two high-profile individuals, they often have to deal with paparazzi and media scrutiny. They also face prejudice from some people who are not supportive of their relationship.
Despite these challenges, Elon and Elton remain committed to each other and continue to support and inspire each other.
After several years of dating, Elon and Elton decide to get married. They have a beautiful ceremony surrounded by friends and family.
As they exchange vows, they look into each other's eyes and pledge their love and commitment to one another.
The curtain closes on Elon and Elton sharing their first kiss as a married couple.
Yeah, we definitely overshot on that one.