Elon Musk Legitimately Believes We Hate Him Because He Is Beautiful
He is really in his feelings this week.
Elon Musk is not having a great week. Not only have some people taken to vandalizing Tesla dealerships, but Tesla has also had to recall all 46,000 Cybertrucks made in 2024 and 2025, as it turns out they have something of a tendency to vandalize themselves by literally falling apart on the highway. This will be the eighth recall so far. Quality machinery there.
Oh, there’s also the little matter of Tesla stock taking an incredible nosedive, with major investors calling for him to step down as CEO if he’s going to spend all of his time destroying every government program that helps people in any way. Even his own brother has dumped 75,000 shares.
“My companies make great products that people love and I’ve never physically hurt anyone,” Musk posted on Xitter on Monday. “So why the hate and violence against me?”
Oh gosh, what could it be? Whatever could it be? Could it be the fact that he’s a crazed white supremacist who has been going around firing thousands of people at random for the past two months? The fact that he’s an evil billionaire using his power to support and establish far-right authoritarian regimes around the nation?
Or do we just hate him because he is beautiful?
Well, close enough. His theory is that he is “a deadly threat to the woke mind parasite and the humans it controls.”
Sure, in that he’s encouraging people to pretend as though systemic injustice (against people other than white men) does not exist. That is factually true. He is actively encouraging people to be their best asshole selves and act like fucking 15-year-old edgelord internet trolls and most of us don’t want to live in a world in which that is the norm.
It’s a really bad time.
But he seems really convinced that this “woke mind virus” or parasite or whatever he’s calling it now is a legitimate, real thing and that people are being brainwashed to believe he is isn’t wonderful, that trans people (like his own daughter) exist, and that people other than white guys are qualified to have jobs.
This, by the way, was a response to a post from Xitter user Insurrection Barbie reading “The left cannot name one thing they hate Elon Musk for. They cannot name one thing the has taken away from them. Or one thing he has done to earn their insane ire. History will study this deranged cult like behavior.”
There’s something so strange about this mindset, and they all have it. They believe that all humans, in their natural state, actually agree with them on everything and everyone who doesn’t is pretending somehow, for some reason. Sometimes it’s because they’re being paid by George Soros, or because they have “Trump Derangement Syndrome,” or (again) a “woke mind virus” or because we’re in a “cult.” You know, because we’re the ones who have infallible leaders whom we worship and praise on the regular.
But I digress. Because this was not any kind of one-off moment of self-pity. He also took his act on the road to Fox News, in order to cry on the shoulder of a deeply sympathetic Sean Patrick Hannity.
“It's really come as quite a shock to me, this violence from the Left. I thought the Democrats were supposed to be the party of empathy, the party of caring, and yet they're burning down cars, and firing bullets into dealerships,” he said, not realizing that the entire reason people hate him is because they have empathy, they care about other human beings and they don’t want to see those human beings hurt by everything he is doing to this country.
“Tesla is a peaceful company; we've never done anything harmful, I've never done anything harmful; I've always done productive things,” he added, definitely believing his own bullshit. “So there's some kind of mental illness thing going on because this doesn't make any sense."
“It turns out when you take away the money people get fraudulently, they get very upset,” he continued. “They basically want to kill me because I'm stopping their fraud, and they want to hurt Tesla because we are stopping this terrible waste and corruption in the government. I guess they are bad people. Bad people do bad things.”
Oh yes, that’s absolutely what’s going on. He is but a babe in the woods, an innocent widdle lamb what never did no harm to no body. The entire Left has been profiting from fraud and we are mad at him for stopping it.
To be clear, he hasn’t stopped any fraud, he’s literally just gone around firing people at random, many of whom have needed to be rehired immediately afterwards (probably all of whom should be rehired, if we want to have a functioning country).
He then suggested that there were perhaps “larger forces” behind it, wondering “Who’s funding it? Who’s coordinating it?” like there’s some other arch-nemesis billionaire out there shelling out piles of cash for Molotov cocktails and spray paint.
It’s such a bizarre mindset. I’ve just never had any trouble at all comprehending the fact that some people disagree with me and some people do not like me. It would be very strange if that were not the case and frankly, if I thought it were, I’d start to wonder about myself.
By Thursday, Musk seemingly came up with another reason for why people have been protesting Tesla dealerships — they’re all transgender.
This time, he quoted another post from Insurrection Barbie that read “Of course 3 out of 4 of the people who have been arrested for vandalizing Teslas are transgender or nonbinary.”
Mother Jones reports that:
The user appeared to be parroting a story from the right-wing Daily Caller website, which identifies three people who have been arrested — Lucy Grace Nelson, Erin White, and Adam Matthew Lansky — who appear, based on media reports or their social media accounts, to be gender non-conforming. (It’s unclear, though, how Nelson, White, and Lansky self-identify.) According to a DOJ spokesperson, Lansky and Nelson are two of three people — along with Daniel Brendan Kurt Clarke-Pounder — who are facing charges related to allegedly vandalizing Tesla property.
Musk’s comment? “What are the statistics on trans violence? The probability of a trans person being violent appears to be vastly higher than non-trans. Hormone injections cause extreme emotional volatility. That is simply a fact.”
Here’s a statistic on “trans violence” — since 2017, 298 transgender and other gender non-conforming people have been the victims of homicide. Here’s another — from 2017 to 2021, the homicide rate for trans people nearly doubled. That’s likely because of people like Elon Musk, who have dedicated a significant portion of their existence to attacking transgender people and trying to take their rights away. So he might want to keep his mouth shut on that one.
It seems worth pointing out that his transgender daughter, Vivian Jenna Wilson, is on the cover of this month’s Teen Vogue, for an interview in which she excoriates Musk as a father who was absent most of the time and cruel when he was there.
To be fair, this is certainly the closest he has come to landing on any factual reason why people just might not like him very much. Nothing to do with “hormones” so much as his obsession with demonizing the trans community.
Polls released last week showed that 60 percent of the country disapproves of what Musk and DOGE are doing with regards to federal workers, while only 36 percent approve, and 54 percent say they believe that Musk and DOGE are damaging the country.
It is not remotely possible that all of these people are “infected with the woke parasite” (again, not a real thing), profiting off of fraud committed by the government, or transgender, or whatever reason he makes up today.
They do not like him because he is a shitty person who does shitty things and is walking into our government and dismantling it without knowing how it works — which is likely to have about the same success rate as me trying to repair a broken faucet myself by just taking it apart and throwing away any parts I don’t know what to do with. They do not like him because he goes around Sieg Heiling and thinks it’s cute. They do not like him because he bought himself a president and people aren’t supposed to be able to do that in this country. They do not like him because he is a union buster. They do not like him because he turned Twitter into a Nazi cesspool, they do not like him because he is a person who is perfectly comfortable having (reportedly) $327 billion dollars and never saying to himself “Hey! I could literally end homelessness in the United States for $30 billion, and never even feel it missing, so why don’t I do that?” — instead of claiming that it’s not even a problem and going after programs and services that actually do help the poor.
They do not like him because he he’s such a freakishly insecure jackass that he has to lie about why people dislike him.
PREVIOUSLY ON WONKETTE!
The guy who's "never hurt anybody" joins the chorus of chortling jackasses that delight at the suffering of immigrants (even lawful ones) being rounded up and put in jail, the impoverished poor that are already dying from aid programs being shuttered, and the cruelty of a great number of "anti-woke" policies specifically designed to cause suffering. Hell, he goes on his own mouthpiece site and laughs about it. He needs fucking therapy and a good long look in the mirror if he can't figure out why he's such a hated asshole.
<The left cannot name one thing they hate Elon Musk for.>
He's a Nazi. I hate Nazis.
<They cannot name one thing he has taken away from them.>
My national pride and minimum sense of ease of living here.
<Or one thing he has done to earn their insane ire.>
An un-appointed, un-elected, megalomaniac who spent hundreds of millions of dollars to gain a position to seemingly randomly destroy systems that dedicated people have spent millions of hours building and improving gets my ire gauge needle pegged.
<History will study this deranged cult like behavior.>
Oh, they sure will. They sure will.