Elon Musk Gonna Sue Meta For Aggravated Stole His Idea For 'What About Words On Internet?'
Let's gooooooooo.
As we write this, on Thursday afternoon, Mark Zuckerberg has just announced that in its first 12 hours, there were 30 million signups for Threads, the new Instagram-based thingie that's not Facebook or Twitter or Blue Sky or Instagram or Christian Mingle. It's Threads!
In mathematical terms, that's known as a "big fuckin' number," unless you're dealing with like outer space distances or something. This thing might kill Twitter. Sorry, Elon Musk. Zuck can't come to your bare-nippled man-boob cage fight, he's too busy being better at his job than you are.
(Not that we have any love for Zuckerberg, fuck. And our review of Threads so far is "Huh." But if it kills Twitter, our review will be "Huh!")
So obviously Elon is threatening to sue Meta for aggravated stealing of his very unique idea to have a website on the internet with some words on it, which Elon invented just about as much as he invented Teslas and spaceships.
First, journey back to this Elon tweet from November, after Elon fired a bunch of people who said mean things about him on Slack and on Twitter:

"I would like to apologize for firing these geniuses," he said. "Their immense talent will no doubt be of great use elsewhere."
And in the hissy pissy lawyer letter to Meta from Twitter, you guessed it, they bitch and moan that former Twitter employees went to Meta and DUN STOLE THAR IDEAS!
It's a hoot:

Excerpts:
Dear Mr. Zuckerberg:
I write on behalf of X Corp., as successor in interest to Twitter, Inc. ("Twitter"). Based on recent reports regarding your recently launched "Threads" app, Twitter has serious concerns that Meta Platforms ("Meta") has engaged in systematic, willful, and unlawful misappropriation of Twitter's trade secrets and other intellectual property.
Who came up with this idea for "type letters to internet"!
Over the past year, Meta has hired dozens of former Twitter employees. Twitter knows that these employees previously worked at Twitter; that these employees had and continue to have access to Twitter's trade secrets and other highly confidential informatiBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH With that knowledge, Meta deliberately assigned these employees to develop, in a matter of months, Meta's copycat "Threads" app with the specific intent that they use BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHGODDAMNSHUTUP ...
We added the BLAHBLAHBLAHs to make it more interesting. Don't worry, we didn't take out any good words.
But yes, indeed, who among us could have come up with "write internet thoughts" and "follow people" were it not for the platform Elon Muskinventedbought for an unwise amount of money because he was lonely and upset, and then proceeded to skullfuck to death with his stupidity, thirstiness and incompetence?
Are they going to next allege that only Elon knows how to make the perfect combination of laughing-until-crying emojis, which convey that he is indeed a cool and funny guy who might have completed sexual intercourse at least once in his life, therefore any use of them on Threads (it's called Threads!) is also stealing?
Meta has responded to the hissy pissy lawyer letter, with its comms director Andy Stone saying in Semafor that “No one on the Threads engineering team is a former Twitter employee — that’s just not a thing."
But in response to a story about Elon's hissy pissy threats to sue, Elon tweeted:

Dumb Elon tweet: "Competition is fine, cheating is not."
OK cool whatev.
In summary and in conclusion, this tweet and the tweet it's replying to:
— (@)
Wheeeeee!
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
Have you heard that Wonkette DOES NOT EXIST without your donations? Please hear it now, and if you have ever enjoyed a Wonkette article, throw us some bucks, or better yet, SUBSCRIBE!
Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons .