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FBI Director James Comey: HAHA, YOU GUYS! MY BAD!
Still A Idiot.
In news that will surprise exactly no one who does not suffer from early onset Clinton Derangement Syndrome, and which will SHOCK AND AWE! moron Trump supporters who just know deep down in their little idiot hearts that Hillary Clinton is the long foretold Devil Email Benghazi Demon who needs to GO TO JAIL, FBI Director James Comey has sent another little letter to Congress! It turns out the FBI has sifted through whatever new emails it found on Anthony Weiner's Sex Computer that pertained to Hillary Clinton, and found a whole bunch of fuckin' nothing:
Can you read that? No of course not, so we will transcribe it!
Sorry, I fucked up and am bad and stupid and probably violated the Hatch Act too, but anyway, whatever, all the new Hillary emails are about recipes and what time "The Good Wife" comes on the TV. Oopsie poopsie!
HAHA JUST KIDDING, WONKETTE IS SUCH A CLASS CLOWN!
Here is the real letter:
I write to supplement my October 28, 2016 letter that notified you the FBI would be taking additional investigative steps with respect to former Secretary of State Clinton's use of a personal email server. Since my letter, the FBI investigative team has been working around the clock to process and review a large volume of emails from a device obtained in connection with an unrelated criminal investigation. During that process, we reviewed all of the communications that were to or from Hillary Clinton while she was Secretary Of State.
Based on our review, we have not changed our conclusions that we expressed in July with respect to Secretary Clinton.
[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/radicalized-fbi-sleeper-cell-probably-led-by-rudy-giuliani"></a>[/wonkbar]OOH that rogue Hillary-hatin' sleeper cell in the FBI's New York Office is probably shitting itself in RAGE right now! Poor dears, somebody should go check on them, and also laugh at them and poke them and do name-calling at them.
So! Talking Points Memo reports that NBC's Pete Williams says that, quelle fucking surprise , the shit they found on Weiner's laptop was actually mostly duplicates of stuff they had already seen. Remember back this summer when Comey editorialized for three hundred hours about how careless Hillary was, before saying "no reasonable prosecutor" would pursue a case against Hillary? We are literally right back at square one, with the obvious conclusion that Hillary Clinton is not, in fact, history's greatest email monster.
Hillary's press secretary, Brian Fallon, has been tweeting about this news, obviously:
It's good to remember that, through all of this, James Comey has been an incompetent dick. He did NOT need to send this letter and throw a wrench into the election. He should NOT have done something that could affect the outcome of the election, because Feds. Are. Not. Supposed. To. Do. That.
[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/hot-take-maybe-james-comey-is-stupid-and-craven-and-terrible-and-the-worst"></a>[/wonkbar]Now, maybe he felt like he was stuck, because half of his agency has become the Breitbart comments section, basically. Maybe he felt like he just HAD to send the original letter, because he promised his Republican douchebag buds in the House Of Representatives that he would let them know the second he found something that could maybe put Hillz in Guantanamo. Maybe he is just stupid.
[wonkbar]<a href="https: //wonkette.substack.com/p/obama-and-pelosi-throwing-all-the-shade-at-dumb-james-comey-and-it-is-lol"></a>[/wonkbar]Whatever it is, we still agree with Nancy Pelosi that maybe Comey is not in the right job. However, we do appreciate that Comey had the common decency to let everybody know, TWO DAYS BEFORE THE ELECTION, that false alarm, you guys, LOL OMG, Hillary Clinton is actually not a criminal.
It was literally the fucking least he could do.