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Mx.le Maerin's Luxury Comedy's avatar

"What I order might be exponentially more expensive than what you order."

Oh and there's the crux of the matter. Scarry Eddie is going to spend A LOT OF MONEY and he's going to spend it all on *himself*. He doesn't want one penny of his 'exponentially expensive' selection going down YOUR lowly gullet. Why should he pay to feed you the overpriced delicacies reserved for someone of his financial stature? Ye gods what a parsimonious prick.

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AboveTheGrayFog's avatar

You know who else shared his food? Jesus Christ at the Last Supper whom, I'm going to go out on the limb and assume, Eddy here believes to actually be God.

A very Commie God according to him.

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GrannysKnitting's avatar

apparently eating out with Eddie is scarry

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Justin's avatar

"I don’t order “cocktails,” which are a scam." I need to know more. Why isn't this the article? Doesn't like to split the check cause commitment and america. Got it, no need for a whole pages. But cocktails are not just a somewhat more expensive drink some people like, but a scam? Possibly a commie scam? Don't leave me hanging federalist, what if I order dollar margaritas without knowing the truth!

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Ashannfishsticks's avatar

This brand of conservative is really trying to convince everyone that somehow, liberals want to take away everything and make them poor. It's a neat way to make angry white dudes who fancy themselves as intellectuals feel like their inadequacy can be attributed to everyone but themselves. And then their totally righteous anger can be used to hurt innocents. So...yay?

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Permanently Confused@68's avatar

I know a guy who was once a friend. A couple of decades in I started noticing what a fucking narcissist he was; how he strove to be the center of attention like, ALL of the time; how he would interrupt, take people's places at the table when they go to the bathroom (and not give it back) and his constant condescending, dismissive attitude towards women, gays, blacks.... The he went all Catholic Christian Republican on us. So that's totally in character. If "character" is a word to use on dipshits like him.

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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

When a professor once called my term paper for his Jacksonian democracy class "tendentious," I had to look it up.

Look it up, Eddie.

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beb's avatar

This article about not wanting to share an appetizer with a dinner companion is so on-target for conservatives: They hate sharing ANYTHING, whether it is food or health care or social security.

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Mary Stone's avatar

Or a country, for that matter. Too bad, we're not going anywhere.

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CanadianBacon's avatar

"And Real Americans(TM) don’t split an order of mozzarella sticks! They eat the whole thing by themselves, and then eat a whole other meal on top of that!"

So do Real Canadians (feel free to use as you wish; no credit needed). And dessert as well.

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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

And that's poutine it mildly.

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TQ White II's avatar

“I con’t order cocktails, which are a scam.”

Really, you could have just attributed this quote to him and we’d have known all we need to.

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wavicles's avatar

Hmm, less than fourminutes in, incuding this sentence, and I'll waste no more time on this little prick.

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Stephen St John's avatar

Scarry stars out with a lie (I really need an end to the expanding assumption that agreeing to do so means agreeing to share) and continues from there. I go out to dinner, like anybody else, and I've never had that assumption.

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bt890's avatar

Yeah, there's no guarantee that your dinner guest will like the same foods you do. Being asked to share is a rare thing that happens. Usually a diner will order extra food for himself and may even offer some of his extra food to his companions. It seems like this article is an extremely unrealistic contrived attempt to badmouth socialism (or sharing in general, I mean they really, really do not like to share at all. Remember when Donald Trump Jr. tried to tweet something clever about socialism on Halloween with kids going door to door trick or tweeting seeking out free candy? Nevermind that it was adults voluntarily buying candy and giving them away to kids in cute costumes just for fun. People ratioed him back, mercilessly, and I think he even ended up deleting his tweet).

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Bruce's avatar

I wonder if he's ever visited a Chinese restaurant with a bunch of friends.

I'm remembering a wonderful evening with a pile of friends at Peking Duck West in NYC 35 years ago or so ago...I think we ordered about 15 dishes, all on that big lazy susan in the middle of our enormous table, and everyone just took what they liked.

But of COURSE he'd never patronizes some probably Chicom subversive center like that...

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RogationDays's avatar

It’s not just political shithead nonsense (which it is, big time) it smells like he was “forced” to share when he was a child and he hated sharing. The problem is he never grew out of the toddler years of “mine, mine, mine”. In fact that is the whole problem with the Rethugs…they have never progressed beyond being two year olds.

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PropellerVigo's avatar

I’ll bet this week’s paycheck that this asshole would be divorced, but he never scored a second date for adamantly refusing to go dutch during the first one.

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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

Did he happen to mention to his date that he likes "Thigh Food"?

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HarryEagar's avatar

There are several examples of meal-sharing in the New Testament.

Want fries with that?

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