218 Comments

The demonic hordes from Apokolips are in the Republican party or supporting it. Actually the hard core supporters are more like the "lowlies" of Apokolips who worship arch-tyrant Darkseid unconditionally and hate the elusive, rebellious rogues like Himon who offer them freedom. "Great Darkseid!" they squeal. "Save us from Himon!"Trump is nothing like Darkseid, though. Those who remember "The New Gods" will remember that Darkseid had nerve and subtlety and was terrifyingly competent. Trump is a lot more like the overweight, super-rich slob Billion Dollar Bates, who had the "anti-life" power to make people do whatever he wanted, but was so ineffably stupid he never realised it. "Just thought I always got my way because I was a great 'wheeler dealer'!"Even Bates's physical resemblance to Trump is noteworthy.Jack Kirby clearly had greater power to predict the future than any psychic.

Expand full comment

It's horrifying that federal forces were preparing to go after non-violent protesters like they were common Hulks.You fooled me, I thought for sure you'd be referencing this scene.

Expand full comment

When you hear the ominous whine building up, that's when you're supposed to start running, not when the beam starts vaporizing people around you.

Expand full comment

I've been to a VUUR concert where the lowest bass tones (just below my hearing range) were extremely loud, it shook my organs so much it was hard to breathe consistently. A very weird feeling.The bass came from below the podium, The sound technician was on his own raised podium so he did not experience that bass himself.

I've been to a hardcore punk festival (Jera On Air) where all the sound technicians were either fired and replaced by deaf howler monkey zombies or they were all on an unholy cocktail of cocaine, LSD, and adrenochrome. Everything was louder than everything else and most speakers blew in the first minute of some bands playing. It was extremely painful unless the speakers had torn completely, in which case it was just unrecognizable plopping and clicking sounds.

Expand full comment

Just get rid of the position, it should now be painfully obvious to everyone that no-one should have that much power.

Expand full comment

Speaking as a Dutchy: ^^ This ^^

Expand full comment

The American mountains are far superior. Nice forests too.

Expand full comment

You know how a microwave mostly heats the outside of something?This heat ray uses a specific frequency that only heats the tiniest top layer of your skin, where all your pain nerve endings are.

Expand full comment

No, it only heats the surface. Specifically designed to do so actually.

Expand full comment

Not before burning through the patient and melting the protective equipment.

Expand full comment

No see, when your soup is too hot you blow to cool it off, superman just does that more awesomely.

Expand full comment

Hmmmm, those tin foil sparks are basically tiny amounts of superheated aluminum plasma. Could you construct a plasma launcher powered by a heat ray?

Expand full comment

I think they skipped animal testing for two reasons: A: the radiation is known not to be dangerous B: it's the military, they don't have ethics commitees for human experiments, they can use test it on soldiers.

Expand full comment

I'm guessing a single blanket would be enough.

Expand full comment

TFTFY?

They fixin to fry you?

Expand full comment

Personally, I’d be NOPE, UH-UH, BYEEE as soon as the f-er climbed out of the ground.

Expand full comment