#2,174 In our continuing series, "Carl Hiaasen doesn't actually write fiction, does he?" A gentleman in Boca Raton ("The Rat of Boca"), Florida, decided he need a little break from being chased by police last week, so he stopped in at a complete stranger's house and
You don&#039;t see much when the cats are asleep, so the best times to watch are <strike>0430</strike> <strike>0530</strike> <strike>0630</strike> <strike>0730</strike> <strike>0830</strike> <strike>0930</strike> 1030 1130 <strike>1230</strike> <strike>1330</strike> <strike>1430</strike> <strike>1530</strike> 1630 1730 1830 <strike>1930</strike> <strike>2030</strike> 2130 <strike>2230</strike> <strike>2330</strike> 0030 0130 <strike>0230</strike> <strike>0330</strike>
I have lived with cats most of my life. They have retractable pointy claws, sharp teeth and take great pleasure in the slow painful death of critters smaller than them. Still, I let them sleep in my bed. That is the power of the cat.
The man himself has nine lives: he did not get blown away by a ground-standing Floriduh gunfucker, he did not get plugged by the cops after messing up their vehicles, and he took multiple swims in the canals without having to rassle a gator. No wonder the cats liked him.
EDIT: Not getting shot when Floridiots had multiple opportunities to do so does have one obvious explanation. As I fully expected, he&#039;s <a href="http:\/\/www.firstcoastnews.com\/story\/news\/weird\/2014\/09\/02\/man-runs-from-cats-caught-playing-with-cats\/15000797\/" target="_blank">not as obviously target-worthy</a> as other citizens might have been.
You don&#039;t see much when the cats are asleep, so the best times to watch are <strike>0430</strike> <strike>0530</strike> <strike>0630</strike> <strike>0730</strike> <strike>0830</strike> <strike>0930</strike> 1030 1130 <strike>1230</strike> <strike>1330</strike> <strike>1430</strike> <strike>1530</strike> 1630 1730 1830 <strike>1930</strike> <strike>2030</strike> 2130 <strike>2230</strike> <strike>2330</strike> 0030 0130 <strike>0230</strike> <strike>0330</strike>
<a href="https:\/\/screen.yahoo.com\/laser-cats-1-000000412.html" target="_blank"> Laser Cats!</a>
<i>&quot;knocking on the backyard sliding glass <strike>door</strike> liquor cabinet door of Peggy Noonan&quot;</i>
Fixed it.
Is that what those crazy kids are calling it these days?
After all that did he at least win immunity at the next tribal council?
Boca Raton = <i>Mouth mouse</i>.
Wait, I thought the cat was the mastermind?
<i>just what the ever-loving fuck he thought he was doing</i>
I tot I taw a puddy tat.
Not my kitten, last night. He pissed on my duvet RIGHT NEXT TO ME.
Cats play with mice, too.
So every police department should turn in their SWAT equipment and arm themselves against angry black thugs with furry kitteh mobiles, plz!?
I have lived with cats most of my life. They have retractable pointy claws, sharp teeth and take great pleasure in the slow painful death of critters smaller than them. Still, I let them sleep in my bed. That is the power of the cat.
It&#039;s always the Pussy that trips men up. Amiright?
Awwwwwwwww
Damn, I thought <i>I</i> was gonna have to make a pussy joke. &#039;Bout time.
The man himself has nine lives: he did not get blown away by a ground-standing Floriduh gunfucker, he did not get plugged by the cops after messing up their vehicles, and he took multiple swims in the canals without having to rassle a gator. No wonder the cats liked him.
EDIT: Not getting shot when Floridiots had multiple opportunities to do so does have one obvious explanation. As I fully expected, he&#039;s <a href="http:\/\/www.firstcoastnews.com\/story\/news\/weird\/2014\/09\/02\/man-runs-from-cats-caught-playing-with-cats\/15000797\/" target="_blank">not as obviously target-worthy</a> as other citizens might have been.