353 Comments
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george lastrapes's avatar

But you gotsta take 'Strumpet' and 'PeeResident' too. My memeventions for the Prez' new name.

javadavis's avatar

Well, now I have to go research this "Johnny Mnemonic". Thank yew very much!

WonderWarthog's avatar

category 5? I didn't even know there *was* a cat 5. Did you?

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

I thought it was a Chinese hoax.

Tpyo Knig's avatar

Upfist for Chinatown reference.

Jenibrio Jenificus's avatar

This is what happens when the taxes are for losers crowd wins out. Cops gotta pay for thier new drone toys somehow! Expect firemen to start pocketing valuables or emts to sell drugs next.

WIDTAP's avatar

Because "it makes libs cry" - the GOP excuse for every evil, unreasonable and deplorable thing they ever say or do.

javadavis's avatar

Emts won't be selling drugs, they'll be purchasing drugs to replace the ones stolen by their officers. You gotta have something to ease the pain of trauma victims.

george lastrapes's avatar

Every typo means the errorists win.

Querolous's avatar

Never been there but are there any basements in Florida? Isn't the water table pretty high even at the best of times?

JohnC44's avatar

Sometimes it seems like our reality is violently spiraling towards a shady knockoff of Johnny Mnemonic.

I call dibs on the decapitator thumbs. Don't want those falling into the wrong (or the right) hands, do we?

cairocat's avatar

For real? Or a parody?

Lefty Wright's avatar

Not that I'm familiar with pick up techniques for children, but I would not think a school gym with 150 cots and your family members clustered around you is the best place to molest a 10 year old. I mean, it's not like they don't have staff there or that your parents and older brother are going to skip out to see a movie, leaving you with the creepy acting guy on the other side of the room with a bag of candy. Kids are probably safer there than in the coach's office after practice, or "special" counseling by the youth minister. Or in the case of the Duggar family, having the oldest son babysit.

Shawn Renee Ernoehazy's avatar

That was my first thought also. When I read the part about that lame "sting operation" that cemented it for me. He seems creepy to me, the way he talks and his affect don't match somehow.